HELP ME! HELP ME! HELP ME! HELP ME! HELP ME! HELP ME! HELP!!

[jen5239]

Hello all,
Ok, I got my ringneck yesterday and thought this would be one of the coolest, happiest times. Instead today I have found myself in tears crying and not knowing what to do! John and I made the three and a half hour drive to get our bird. At the breeder's home he/she was just a little flighty-could tell they hadn't been handled for a while. But Byndi-what I have named the bird-let the breeder hold him/her and let me hold him/her for a moment. No biting, no screaming, no nothing. We make the three and half hour drive home and Byndi seemed fine. Get home seems fine. Later last night (I'm just going to refer to Byndi as him)he seemed okay. He ventured out of his cage and hung out on top of his cage. Got spooked and "flew" to the floor and climbed on to my dog's kennel. Hung out on that for quite a while and was okay. When I tried to get him to put him back in his cage he FREAKED!!!!!! Hunkered down and screamed at the top of his lungs and bit the holy crap out of me. And when he bit he didn't let go. So I finally get him back in his cage and today rolls around. Once again the same thing happens. He gets on to the kennel and is hanging out. I called Brightwood Bird Clinic for some help. He says I should take him in to a small room just the two of us. Sing to him, talk softly to him. Give him some treats. Well I did this for an hour straight. He was on the floor and just hanging out. Was fine as long as I didn't come near him. He was puffing out and preening. Don't know if that's a good sign or not. But when I tried to pick him up to take him back out he FREAKED! Screamed at the top of his lungs and bit the **** out of me. My fingers are so swollen and I have bruises all over. What do I do??? PLEASE IF YOU CAN OFFER ADVICE DO SO!!!!! I want this bird to be part of my family so badly. But I don't want to scare him to death or make him mean by doing something wrong. If anyone can help PLEASE do so! Mikaela, what do I do????? Hane's parental unit, WHAT DO I DO????????? Help me to make Byndi a happy and healthy bird and part of my family! Praying to hear from some or ALL OF YOU (HINT, HINT, HINT) to help us. THANK YOU SO MUCH!
A Broken Hearted,
Jen

[tasha]

Hi Jen
Just hang in there, I had the same sort of problem with my IRN indy, I just kept talking to him and being nice I had his wings clipped and he is getting better.
How old is byndi?

Tasha

[Dani03]

Hi there! The most you can do for now is just let your baby get used to you. I let Prinny sit in her cage and come out only when she wanted for a week before I actually went in and tried to take her out on my own. My baby is bluffing right now so she is being a holy terror. She is lunging and treatening to bite. Is you baby hand raised? Please Please Please DO NOT grab your new baby and try to pick s/he up because this will cause fear and distrust in your new companion. I offer her the back of my hand or arm so she can step up on her own. Prinny hates to be picked up around her back because thats the way the vet does it. They have some serious memories and she remembers the vet. Be very very careful with these guys. If you aren't careful they will turn on you in a second. Sorry but this is true Hope you enjoy your new addition.

[jen5239]

Tasha, Indy, Dani and Prinny,
Byndi and I thank you for your quick replies! Byndi is a year old and he is just BEAUTIFUL! He's a turquoise color and I just love him. I just can't get near him. Dani, I can't even offer him the back of my hand or arm cuz he FREAKS whenever you come near him. He drops almost to his belly and just SCREAMS at the top of his lungs and either runs from me or just bites the heck out of me. I don't know what to do. I've tried a perch to get him to step up on and he freaks on that too. My heart is BREAKING becuz I'm so afraid this is the kind of life together we're going to have. I can't handle the thought of him hating me and being so miserable. So if you have any other suggestions for me please send em my way. I've read that I should just sit by the cage and talk quietly to him. So I'm going to try that later. I can't let him out of his cage cuz he won't stay on it and then it's such an event to get him back in and I don't want to traumatize him any more than he already is. Please pray for Byndi and I! I'm VERY SAD! Any help is more than appreciated.
Thank you,
Jen and Byndi

[Mikaela]

Jen:

Welcome to owning an Irn *gives you a big ol hug*. I use to take it personal and cried a few times myself. You are doing a great job, he just needs to settle in. My baby still wont let me actually touch her to this day, only allows me to hold her on my hand and talk to her. I know that sounds like alot to you right now but I promise you, through alot of patience and love you will have a tame bird that is as sweet as my Peek-a-Boo... or a birdie as tolerate as Baby just to let me hold her. But Baby is very young. Boo is almost 2.

You obviously have an untame bird on your hands. Not gonna like this, but you HAVE to show him you are the leader. This means TAKE the bites but MAKE him do whatever he is being ask to do. NEVER allow him to be higher than you on a surface or youll get it everytime. Higher = superior.

Just remember, he doesnt hate you. He would act this way with anyone. He is scared of you and bites you to protect himself. The downside is, you must touch him and take the bites or he will never become tame.... ever. A tame bird is not one left in a cage to exist as it sounds like he may have live before you adopted him.

Let us know how he does. Again, you are doing great and keep him below eye level. I would ask the last owner what a typical day for him use to be like and mimic that (assuming it is healthy) as much as possible. Irns are sensitive alot like children. Very senstive.

[IMR4N]

it really depends on how long you are willing to wait for your bird to become tame? if you are willing to wait a few years then don’t handle him jus feed him and look after him. if you are not that patient then do use the training methods that others have suggested but not for to long 20 minutes tops a time maybe twice a day but no more. They get bored easy.

good luck

[jen5239]

Mikaela and IMR4N,
Thank you so much for your replies. I am sooooooo taking this personally and it's killing me. I want him to love me like I love him. He didn't act this way at the breeders home! Or I would've NEVER bought him! He was just a little flighty and she said she'd not worked with them for a while. He was in a cage with his siblings, three other birds. It was clean and the birds were very content and quiet. They could open the door to the cage and a couple just walked around the floor and up the ladies pant leg and hung out on her shoulder. But nothing like what my poor Byndi is doing now. I don't even know how I'm going to get in his cage to change his food and water tomorrow. But believe me I am taking the bites and in the end it will be worth it. I'm bruised, bloodied, scabbed and in pain. And still my heart hurts when I walk by and know that he's terrified of me. Please keep the suggestions coming and the words of encouragement! Thanks for the kind words Mikaela! I appreciate everyone's input. Thank you all. I'll keep you posted.

[IMR4N]

Sorry I didn’t realise that the bird was tame with his previous owner. All you have to do now is gain his trust give him the mare minimum of his vitamin intake in his food bowl and give him treats every now and then. trust me you will see a big difference. Find out what he most enjoys eating and sit by the cage and pretend to eat it he will show you when he wants some. I find the seeds out of melons are a huge favourite.

[Mikaela]

Jen: hun I know it hurts... someone here pulled me to the
side and told me I had to stop or I would begin resenting my
Baby. I honestly already had

Here, let me show you something. Here is my Peek-a-Boo
at 2 yrs old:



See, she cant get enough love. Beeeegs for it, look at that head.

I promise you that we will both have birds like my Peek-a-Boo
is just takes months, years hun. And what is worse, you can
actually be too pushy so interact OFTEN but in short intravals.

Here is how I train my girls and it works for me.

Here is what I did:

Buy a small perch that will be her 'step up' stick. Talk to her softly
as you press the stick against her lower chest saying "step up'. As
a baby, when you touch there it is like a natural reaction for them
to step onto the stick. DO NOT stop until she gives in so grab a
chair and some Vodka, this is going to push your patience. When
she steps up the first time. Yay! make a hugh deal. Thats a good
baby to step up for Mommie. Then play with her or whatever.
Then have her step back up onto the stick and take her to her
cage and tell her to step down and too make a big deal out of
that. I PROMISE YOU, within a week, youre baby will not be
lunging at you and will know what is expected when she sees
her stick.

It worked for me when nothing else would. Here is a pic of her
vicious days when they closest I could get to her was stick length.
But NO WAY was I going to allow her to eat up so many hours of
my time for nothing, I had to take action.

After about a week of the step up stick, she will be hopping
onto your hand, hesitate nonetheless but she will.

Take a Look:



And there she is a week later, huge difference huh.



I implore you to try this method. But you cant back down. Once
you have asked her to step up you cant stop until she does, all
the while maintaining that sweet voice even if patience has run
thin and you feel like she needs a good wacking! SO kidding
but training a bird is not for the faint at heart.

[jen5239]

Hey you two!
Thanks again for the input. Mikaela you are the SWEETEST! Thank you so muhc for your kind words! I am in such a funk today cuz I'm sooooo bummed. When I got him up this a.m. he was very sleepy and not real confrontational. I spoke quietly to him and opened the cage to get his food out and he was kind of okay. But when I came back to put it in he'd woke up a little more and flew around the cage like you see the unhandled birds in the pet store do. Broke my heart. But then he settled and just clinged to the back bars of the cage. I got the food bowl in there and closed the cage. Mikaela what do I do if I can't even get him to step up on the perch??? He gets so freaked that he tries to fly and ends up running around on the floor and I just don't know what to do! I wanted to try the step up on perch thing but I'm just at a loss on how to do it. He's not a baby baby. I know considering their life span only being a year old is still very young. But not like your little one! So how do I get him to step up on the perch??? I told my husband I was just going to sit by his cage and talk softly to him for a few days. And let him know he's safe in his cage and that I'm not going to come in after him. Then we would proceed from there. Do you think that would work? I really am sooooo incredibly down. I want this bird to love me like I already love it! But all I see is terror in his/her eyes! And it makes me so sad! So please keep words of encouragement coming. I NEED THEM! Thank you so very much everyone!

[Mikaela]

Stick to the board hun... it will all work out. I remember literally crying, not a crier to say the least but I had made this HUGE financial investment in something *I thought* hated me. If he is so scared he is flying in his cage when you are near... we need to start behind square one.

My advice until he stops flying in the cage at your presense:

With the door open, sit at or above eye level and talk softly to him. See the little plastic toy I bribed the baby with? Have stuff like that handy. When he settles for a minute, place it as close to him as he will allow without freaking out. Repeat this one-million-two hundred-thousand and fifty times, then we can begin with the step up technique. We have to get this fella calmed down.

I would also like to say the breeder was obviously a BOLD face liar. If he was tame he may not step up for you but he wouldnt flap around his cage risking hurting himself at the sight of a stranger, much less his care giver.

If scared enough he could break a blood feather or a wing.

So when he starts that, time to walk away saying in a gentle voice "its ok baby, Ill see you later. May sound crazy but talk to him as you would a two yr old. They have the mentality of a five yr old.

Do you live in Florida by chance?

[Dani03]

Hi. Well I see Byndi is going to be a problem child then. LOL However sadly some IRNs just do not want anything to do with their owners. Some of us have been lucky enough to find those birds that want to be touched (And Mikaela I sure hope Prinny will come out of this stage and be like Ms. Boo ) Prinny begs to be out of her cage but this is her personality. Have you tried leaving the door open and completely ignoring the bird? These guys are VERY social and crave attention whether it is behind cage bars or out of them. When Byndi sees that you are ingoring (him?) the bird will hopefully want to get your attention. If Byndi does, DO NOT run over there and try to lavish the bird. Just aknowledge (him?) and tell him he is a good boy. Keep doing this over and over again and ever time get a little closer to the cage. Let him decide (FOR NOW) how close he wants you. Eventually Mikaela's suggestion will work but for now he is so wary of you that you have to gain some sort of trust. Good luck

[jen5239]

You guys are the BEST!!! I just can not express my grattitude! Mikaela, your posts make me laugh and give me hope. I just love you for that! I so wish I lived in Florida! Hey I'll pay your airfare to come up and tame the beast! Ha ha! I live in OH unfortunately. But I'm going to keep checking in and doing what you suggest! I don't want to give up on my baby and I'm going to do what you suggest when I get home from work tonight! Keep your fingers crossed! Dani, when I open the cage door if he gets spooked he tries to "fly" and then I have to risk losing my hand trying to pick him up. Plus he gets soooooooooo scared that he hunkers down and just screams this terrified scream. And that breaks my heart!! I can't handle that. I just love him so and want him to love me too. I don't even care if he doesn't want to be held all the time. I just want him to not be terrified of me and I want to be able to get him to step up and let me get into his cage to do food and water without him freaking out. So keep the suggestions coming. Thanks!

[Dani03]

Hmmm...this one is hard! I have a stick on the inside of the door that Prinny steps on when she wants to be let out. For the first few days she was here she would stand on it and stare out. I would stand next to the cage and she would flap around a bit but would continue to stare out. I made that stick her 'outside' perch so she lets me know if she wants out. Maybe this will work? That stick became HER perch as it is inside her cage but it is also her ticket to the outside world. Why don't you try this method? It just might work. I sure hope you can find something because I have heard stories of people with problems birds and they just gave up on them. Please don't be like those! I am sure you aren't but don't prove me wrong

If you never get Byndi to ever like you atleast know that YOU love (him?) Just know that you have tried everything and this is just your own birds personality. I was so worried about IRNs personality that I also (and I do say ALMOST) did not get my Prinny. I am so glad that I didn't go back and not get her.

Also another thing do what you think is best. Sometimes what works for others doesn't work for you. Trust what you think might be best. All of these suggestions (And I am not saying anything bad or dissing them Mikaela ) but these wouldn't work for my bird. These would just upset my girl. Like the stick method with Mikaela, I would have just made her so upset. Obviously it worked with Baby. Tyr everything but go with your instincts. I had to trust what I was doing with Prinny was correct. Trust that what you are going to try and do is right and it will pass off to Byndi. These birds can sense things so if (he?) can sense that you know what your doing (even if you don't but act like it) then maybe it will help with (him?).

Dani and Prinny

[Mikaela]

If I can 'break' Babys spirit and make her see who is boss, any bird can be broken. In this case, just getting to that part would be progress.

Sit and talk to him as you would a baby in a crib. Dont stare at him, instead look into his eyes then glance at his chest. Then, you can still see him but you are not imtimidating him.

This was mistake 1 I made with Baby, as she will not back down.

With talking to him it should only be a little higher than a whisper with hi and low sounds... DIIID "his name" HAVE a great day!? you SURE ARE a pretty boy. Then if he isnt flapping. Open the door and have a seat and do it as long as he'll let you. OR until you feel frustration building, walk away he will fieel it to.

Are you leaving a TV on during the day? May I recommed that.

To be honest hun, your bird bonded with his cage mates, thereby not needing you or his previous Mom. He misses his cage mates and I am sure he wasnt the protector, man of the house. So now his pals arent there to 'have his back'. Make sense?

[Melika]

Well if that topic isn't an eyecatcher... lol

I also suggest leaving him in his cage until he stops flinging himself around.

This sounds like classic new-home shock. He is now in a totally unfamiliar place, no one he knew is there, nothing sounds or looks the same, new cage, new toys, new other pets to deal with. It can be an overload to some birds.

Don't rush. After all, you JUST got him.

Give him a little time to calm down. Get him used to you being near the cage and make him COME to you for a treat. Don't present the treat to his beak, make him walk towards you for it. Even if it's just through the bars. Make him come to the door of the cage for a treat, but don't take him out at first. Soon you'll be able to use a stick (of if you're willing to rish a bite, your finger) like Mikaela did with Baby and make her step onto it for a treat. And back to the cage again.

This is building trust.

[jen5239]

Hey guys,
I really can not express my level of grattitude! I got home from work today and put my dogs out. I then got a nice big green apple and cut some of it off. Went in to the living room and talked very softly to him. Opened his cage door and sat in front of the cage holding the piece of apple out to him. Of course he came no where near me and was a little freaked at first. But then he calmed down and I sang to him and just spoke to him. Any time I would take a bite of the apple you could just see that he was soooooooo interested in that apple. He wanted a bite. And a couple times I actually thought he was going to come to the perch by the door and try. But he didn't. So I did this for 20 minutes and then closed his cage door--which kind of freaked him out a little. And put the apple away and I'm going to try it again in a little while. I really think this might work to at least get him to trust me somewhat. I will only do this twice a day after I get home from work. I'm going to go slowly with this. What does it mean when they puff up their feathers? I've heard that's a good sign and then I've heard it isn't. So... And once he was grinding his beak. Don't know if that was a content thing or if it was an "I'm going to make this extra sharp to rip your finger off." Thanks again for all your help. And when I can get a pic. of him I will post it so you guys can see what a BEAUTY he is! I'll keep you posted. I can not thank each and every one of you enough! I'd give you all hugs if I could. So consider yourself hugged!

[IMR4N]

sounds your doing ok for your self but try leaving the treat in the cage for him after the session is over even if he doesn’t respond. Maybe get him a bowl for fruit and stuff and leave the treat in there and each session move the bowl closer to your self that way you aren’t actually holding the treat. He should respond better to this. At first he may take the treat and run back in to his cage but keep a perch on the ready on the out side.

[jen5239]

Hey you guys,
Good news! My Byndi didn't freak this monring when I went in to his cage to change his food and water. He wasn't happy that I was in there but he didn't throw himself around the cage. I'm happy about this. I did the whole sitting in front of his cage with a treat thing twice last night for about 20 min. He didn't freak and I could tell he really wanted some of that apple. I don't think I should give him the treat afterwards cuz he'll figure out that he doesn't have to do anything and he'll get the treat anyway. What is the general consensus on that? Well I'll keep you posted. Thanks.

Jen and Byndi

[Melika]

If you read, you can read next to the cage too. Adds a little more close space time. ^^

[littlequail]

I had the same problem with mine.The breeder said that it just takes time for my irn to get used to its new home. give him time you willl bond. The best thing i found was to hand fed 1/2 of her food to her

[Mikaela]

See Everyday is just going to keep getting better

As mentioned, dont walk away witout giving him a treat for not acting like a maniac. I know, you didnt even think about it.

Also, if he isnt full-flighted, leave the cage door open as much as posible. That will highten his level of curiousity.

Do you have a play gym... you MUST. It works wonders in working with your baby and he will love it so much he will climb down a rope toy to get onto it... bet ya! Just get him one of the $20 ones at Petco/Petsupermarket.
My girls prefer theirs to be on top of their cage but when I allow that they push me around because they are much higher (even get nippy when asked to step up). Not one to be pushed... one of little patience which is one major way having them has impacted my life.

[jen5239]

Hey everybody,
I do have a play gym for Byndi. But my problem isn't that he won't come out of the cage-the problem is when he gets spooked and he tries to "fly" and lands on the ground. Then when I TRY to pick him up he SCREAMS at the top of his little birdy lungs and bites the holy you know what out of me. And it's very traumatic trying to get him back in to his cage. That's why I haven't let him out since Sunday. I've been opening the cage door and sitting in front of it with a treat and speaking very softly to him. I figure when he gets enough nerve to come to the cage door with me right there, he might step up on a perch without totally FREAKING out. He was very flighty tonight when I got home from work. So I didn't bother him too much. Sat at the front of the cage for about 10 min. And he looked like he thought I wanted to kill him. So the next time I just sat beside his cage and propped a grape between the bars. That was a little better for him. But he came no where near me. Altho' he did eat while I was sitting there. So I would think that was a good sign. I by far know NOTHING about these critters, but I would think if he was as terrified of me as I feel he is he wouldn't be eating with me right beside his cage. Am I right??? Please tell me I'm right. Well I'll let you all know how tomorrow a.m. goes. Keep fingers crossed. Good night for now.
Jen & Byndi

[Melika]

So he'll come out of the cage for you?

If he gets spooked, just let him wander for a while and don't try to pick him up. Let him come to you. The first few times Hane flew to the floor I just let him wander around (cutting him off to keep him out of trouble, lol) until he got tired of it and came to me, where then I offered my finger and he kindly stepped up. Try it. ^_^

[Mikaela]

Melika:

Her baby boy will not do anything except scream and bow when she even gets NEAR the cage... we got our work cut out for us with this fella.

I am working with her one-on-one to get him past that so that ANY kind of taming can progress.

Bless her heart, she was so upset, taking it personally but I think we have Mom past that. Now, onto Baby Boy. Geez, what a terror

[Melika]

But my problem isn't that he won't come out of the cage-the problem is when he gets spooked and he tries to "fly" and lands on the ground. Then when I TRY to pick him up he SCREAMS at the top of his little birdy lungs and bites the holy you know what out of me. And it's very traumatic trying to get him back in to his cage.

This was the part I was reffering too. And I hear he's doing better with your help. ^^

[Mikaela]

I bet if I wouldnt have gotten Baby so young, she would have been exactly like this. She dont care one way or another if I ever say Hey, long as she can see me. Too independant is Baby, too needy is Boo.

Boo has deep seeded emotional problems steming from either neglect or abuse, no doubt in my mind. It was also a man that did whatever was done to her.

[jen5239]

You two are the best. I so appreciate all of your help. We're getting there. I'm going to try to hold him this weekend. Hopefully I won't lose a limb while trying. I'll keep you posted.

[LAAnnie]

Dear Jen,

Are Byndie's wings clipped? My bird can get pretty evil when her wings grow out. When her wings are clipped she is calm and sweet.

PeeGee was not very tame when I found her (she showed up on my front lawn a year ago, lost). Her age and background are unknown. I have been working with her every day. You really need to be patient and take your time. The bird will eventually settle down. Your bird must not have been hand raised. I don't think mine was, either. Try putting the bird cage in a room where you spend a lot of time doing normal activities, like kitchen or office. Just let her sit on her perch on top of the cage, watching you. Her curiosity will get the better of her and she will come over to you, to get your attention or see what you are doing.