MY IRN LIKES ONLY MALES AND HATES ME HER MOM

[adamzmom]

HELLO EVERYONE...I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE. MAY 30, 2004 I LOST MY ONLY CHILD, MY 15 YEAR OLD SON. HE WAS KILLED ON A 4 WHEELER AT MY SISTER'S HOUSE. HE HAD GONE TO SPEND THE WEEKEND WITH HER BOYS. TO HELP EASE THE PAIN, I PURCHASED AN IRN, WITH WHAT I WAS TOLD WAS A BOY AND THAT IT WOULD TALK. I NAMED "HIM" MALACHI...MEANING MESSENGER FROM THE LORD. WELL, "HE" I THINK HAS TURNED OUT TO BE A GIRL. SHE DOES NOT LET ME TOUCH HER AT ALL. SHE LUNGES AT ME EVERY TIME I GO NEAR HER CAGE, EVEN DURING FEEDINGS. BUT ANY OF MY FAMILY MEMBERS OR FRIENDS THAT ARE MALES, THAT WEAR BALL CAPS, SHE LOVES. SHE ALL BUT FALLS OVER AND UPSIDE DOWN, AND WOO WOOS AT THEM AND LETS THEM JUST RUB HER. SHE GOES INTO LIKE A DAZE OR SOMETHING. BUT LET ME GO UP TO THE CAGE AND SHE SNAPS RIGHT OUT OF IT AND LUNGES TO BITE AT ME. I DONT UNDERSTAND. I TALK TO HER ALL THE TIME, GIVE HER TOYS AND TREATS, FEED HER, KEEP HER CAGE CLEAN, GIVE HER SHOWERS, (THRU HER CAGE OF COURSE, AS SHE HAS NEVER LET ME HOLD HER). WHAT DO I DO?
I LONG SO MUCH JUST TO HEAR HER CALL ME MOMMY. I MISS MY ADAM SO MUCH. I WANT TO FEEL LIKE A MOM AGAIN, BY HEARING A VOICE CALL ME MOM. I HAVE OTHER PETS, THEY ALL ARE GIRLS AND LOVE ME DEARLY, I HAVE A COCKER SPANIEL, CJ, A CHIUAHAH, COOKIE, AND I KNOW I SPELLED THE CHI WORD WRONG...LOL A SILVER SHADED PERSIAN, MISTY. I HAVE ONE MALE OUTSIDE, HE IS NOAH. A HUGE SOLID WHITE TOM CAT THAT HUNTS AND CHASES AWAY ALL THE RODENTS FROM THE FIELDS, AND THE LIZARDS AND SNAKES. HE IS MY BUDDY TOO. ANY IDEAS FROM ANYONE ON HOW TO GET THIS BIRD TO LOVE ME?

[kyria]

Welcome to the family adamzmom. So sad to hear about your loss, may God keep his ever loving arms around you and yours.

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wear a ball cap ! (joking at first but thinking about it, have you tried it ?)

Most indianringnecks are scared of peaked caps, but if yours likes males in caps, try wearing one.

The trance she goes into is a mating trance. She probably naturally see's them as mates and you as competition.

How long have you had her ? I am concerned because it seems like you may have had her for a while and tried many different approaches to befriend her. Sometimes reality bites, and with IRN's they can just choose to like a particular person or thing and not others, and there really isn't much that can be done about it.

Have you tried getting one of your male family members to hold her and pet her while you are next to them and then let you take over while she is in the trance. It may have her see that they like you, so she could like you too ?

[catschair2]

I don't have much to add. If you have had her since soon after you lost your son (my heartfelt condolences), you have had a good try with her. Think you can find lots of tips on this board, but she may just not like us girls! Maybe you should get another one to make her jealous (I want everyone to have as many birds as I do). Best wishes

[Lauren]

Welcome to the family here. So sorry to hear of your loss. That must of been a terrible thing to happen to you. My deepest condolences to your and your family.

A pet can help with emotional upsets in life. My father bought me Jibby at a hard time in life and my lil green monster brought so much cheer to my life.

I havn't had experience with females. I see that you've tried for a while but I believe there is still hope. Just have a little patience and keep doing what your doing, spend time with Malachi, talk to her everyday and offer her treats. Make her see that your a good and caring person and that your not going to hurt her in any way. I know you've tried. But you don't have to touch her to show this! Once she finds out your no longer a threat, maybe try touching her then?

I think alot of people expect too much from their birds. But every bird is different. Don't be too worried about just gaining her love just now. Focus on building a relationship from scratch. I'm sorry I'm not much help here.

Have you tried toweling her and just holding? My Yoda is very snappy but as soon as I have him in a towel he calms down.

Sounds like she's showing off to the men! Wearing a cap sounds like a good idea in your case.

All the best!
Lauren