I need help

jen5239 · Post by **jen5239** » Sat Feb 11, 2006 3:26 pm

Hey everyone,
VERY BAD news about my Daddy. :cry:

He's got cancer all over his body and they've given him 3 months to live. So I will soon be off to California and John will be in charge of the fids. Now he's not the main caregiver to my babies and when I just had Milo it was easy cuz Milo you just uncover in the a.m. and go to work. I feed Remmi and Byndi fresh food in the morning before I leave for work. John won't want to do this or have time really to do it. He leaves at 4:30 a.m. So do any of you have any idea what I can do to help make it easier on John to take care of these guys for me? If I cut up the fresh food and put in some kind of container and he could just dump it in would that work? And I know he's not going to pay them the attention daily and nightly that I do. Am I going to be screwed when I get back with a moody mad bird? Please I implore you to keep praying for my Daddy and my family. We all need strength! Thank you for any advice you can offer me on this.
Love,
Jen

Neokireina · Post by **Neokireina** » Sat Feb 11, 2006 5:33 pm

I'm sure the birds will be fine while your away, I'm sure John will be able to set up a schedule that suits him. Maybe fresh food and attention when he gets home and they can eat seed and pellets in the morning instead.

This would be better than just dumping the food and going to work.

Dani03 · Post by **Dani03** » Sat Feb 11, 2006 6:27 pm

Where in Cali are you going to be? Just make sure you let John know that he has to take care of them and let him set his sched.

Dani and Prinny

Ducky · Post by **Ducky** » Sat Feb 11, 2006 6:32 pm

Best of luck Jen. I've left ducky for a short time with hubby and i thought I'd be hated when I got back But It wa just the opposite so they'll be fine . take care...

Post by **Datsun and Family** » Sat Feb 11, 2006 7:18 pm

If you prepare all the fresh foods and split them into meals in sealed bags then freeze them all John has to do is open the bag and pop it in a dish.

I do this for Datsun once a week so we can always give her fresh foods but its easy if we have no time. She loves to eat it when its still frozen and then finishes it off when it has thawed.

Or you could just cheat and get a bag of frozen mixed veges, just for while John is looking after them, its easy and they will still get the veges they need.
Datsun often gets frozen berries that way.

They will be fine! I would encourage him to handle thes much as he can but they will be fine with whatever he manages.

Just go and look after yourself and your Dad. If you get a chance please pop in and let us know how you are going so we dont worry too much!

Mazziemom · Post by **Mazziemom** » Sat Feb 11, 2006 9:55 pm

I'm sorry honey. My grandfather passed away last year ... from full body cancer. He didn't tell any of us he had it, just loved us and left us very suddenly.

The birds will be ok. Frozen veggies work wonders. You can also cut up some fruits (pears, apples, or pomegranates work well) and freeze them in little portion sized bags. Banana does not freeze well.

Just worry about what you need to, the rest will be ok.

Again, I'm very sorry.

Athena

Mikaela · Post by **Mikaela** » Sun Feb 12, 2006 4:20 am

I love you Jen. Never met my Dad so Im not going to sit here and pretend to know how you feel.

I do know cancer though and I hate it with every fiber of my being.

Cancer is what took my Granny when I was 14 leaving me to walk alone. Until I had my Matt-Matt.

A word of advice:

Talk to your Dr now and tell him what is going on. You need some nerve medicine. Walking into his room is going to be like a walk to the chair... believe me, I know you WANT to see him but you are going to be SO scared. My Granny was my everything but I'll never forget walking into her room after her diagnosis.

They all knew I was her granddaughter but we never told them she was my Mom too so that when she past the state didnt take me. She and I both knew I would be better off making it on my own.

Hind-sight 20/20, she was exactly right.

I dont know if this helps but when I would feel over-whelmed by the fact God would be calling her home soon, I use to think: Welp, people walk out there door everyday, get wacked by a car and their family never sees them alive again. At least TODAY I have my Granny and am blessed with a warning. That is how my 14 yr old mind thought.

It thought what it had to think to get me through. From 14 til 20, I was on auto-pilot. Or God was carrying me. As hard as it should have been, it really wasnt. God sent me my sons father and his family were more than glad to take me in.

To this day my mother-in-law (dont refer to her as ex, done too much for me) still refers to me as her daughter and cries everytime I call. Granny must have spent her last days praying for my long immature walk along because God took very good care of me and sent me to one of the most loving families ever.

She would always say "Mikaela, you dont have to be with my son to be with us, never forget that. This is your family, regardless of what happens with my son and you... I will always be in your corner. And she always was.

Whoa, need to increase my therepy sessions, didnt mean to steal your thread Jen, it all just poured out.

:oops:

Post by **kyria** » Sun Feb 12, 2006 4:57 am

Jen .. the frozen stuff sounds good to me. pre packed frozen mixed vegi's ... there are some great mixes out there. Like chamon said, they will eat away at it frozen then again when it thaws, will be a fresh new experience for them. They will have ambient time with hubby when he is home and so long as he talks to them the way you do, (just ask him to talk to them the way you do) I have no doubt all will be fine.

I know its probably impossible but Just try to relax about the visit, take each day one step at a time. Trust in God and know we are all thinking about you and praying for you every moment and step of the way.

No drugs, best way to handle this is with a clear head. Its normal and healthy to feel your emotions, no matter how much it hurts

Its all designed that way by God for good reason.

(((HUGS)))) << please take that with you

God bless and be with you

jen5239 · Post by **jen5239** » Sun Feb 12, 2006 10:34 am

Thanks so much you guys. I'm sitting here crying my eyes out right now. Thank you for all your kind words and well wishes. My heart is breaking and I'm so scared! He's my Daddy! Dang it! The Earth pretty much revolves around him in my eyes. I'm so scared to get on that plane Wednesday! How do I go out there and see him knowing when I leave it's going to be the last time I ever see him alive?? How do I do that?? I'm one of these stupid people who just never thought this would ever happen to ME! Other people lose their parents, not mine, they're going to be with me forever. And now I'm losing the only one I have left. I didn't know you could hurt this badly! Please I beg of you to keep praying for strength for us. Thanks again for everything.

Love,
Jen

Mazziemom · Post by **Mazziemom** » Sun Feb 12, 2006 12:18 pm

I know honey, its like thinking lightening will hit... it will never hit YOU. I'm so sorry it did.

Just love him, like you always have, thats the biggest gift you can give. I think thats why my grandpa never told us he was ill, he didn't want us to treat him differently. I loved him so much anyway, I think if he had told me I would've made him move in with me so I could care for him, and he loved to be independent.

My heart still screams with the pain of his loss, but I also know that he was in a lot of pain at the end (which he blamed on other things, the ol turkey) and he's not now. I thank God for every day I had him with me.

Cancer is an evil thing, and it steals those we love for no good reason.

Take care of you, and love your Dad for all your worth. You both will benefit from that.

Athena