New and heartbroken

[Skyl@h]

I had my baby blue IRN, Skylah for a year this May. I think, no, I know I am responsible for her death. I lost her almost a week ago and still cannot forgive myself. I loved her with all my heart. She was my first bird and I thought I researched well enough. It's hard to write this without crying, which is everyday. I now know what my mistakes were. It hurts knowing that I could have prevented this if only I was more careful. I broiled a steak. About an hour after that I noticed she wasn't acting like herself. Then her rapid breathing, I knew she was dying. It was after hours and looking for an emergency clinic, the only one was an hour away We tried to get there. I held her close all the way and told her I was sorry and that I love her. She took her last breath and died in my hands. I can't get that image out of my head. How could I have been so stupid and neglectful????? I cremated her the next day and have her with me always. It's unimaginably painful (unless you experience it) to wake up in the morning/come home and not hear or see her. An empty cage. I'm not sure I'm ready or even worthy of taking care of another. My fear is that what if I'm wrong? What if it was something else? Or a combination of things? I love you Skylah

[ringneck]

I am really sorry that you lost your little girl! I know how attached we become to our little monsters and i know how much they really tug on our hearts. I could not imagine my life without my little birds--it would be colorless to put it frankly.

Please don't blame yourself as i am sure Skylah is watching over you. We ALL make mistakes and that's part of being human . Accidents happen and you should not deprive yourself of owning another ringneck. They are really marvelous creatures. Besides, owning another one will allow you to remember Skylah forever--and we all know she is in your heart and that's all that matterS!

We are all here for you!

Best Wishes,

IMRAN-C

[pinkdevil]

Try not to be so hard on yourself. Sometimes things go wrong....

It is easy to see that you loved your little Skylah and would not have done anything intentional to harm her in anyway.

In time when your heart eases aching, you may be ready to accept another pet into your life.
There are plenty of animals out there that deserve a loving home like you would provide.
Don't close yourself off to loving another bird or pet, you would be missing out on a wonderful life with them.

My old cockatiel, Sindel, took his last breath in my hands last week. So I can understand how upsetting that is. But think of how you were there for her last moments, I am sure she felt loved.

[smallworld]

My heartfelt sorry goes out to you..

But take it easy on yourself. I blame myself too everytime a pet dies but like ringneck said, we're all human and not everything is in our control.

God's keeping your little angel in a warm place, in heaven.