Obsessive Behaviour

[Miss Jojo]

I know that birds can often form strong bonds with one particular member of the family but I am concerned that our Bluey has developed an unhealthy bond to me.

When he/she is allowed out of the cage I am the sole focus of attention....she flies straight onto my head and then makes her way down to be pet. That is the delightful part but she then becomes very demanding for attention - climbing all over me and biting (very firm nibbling) my clothes, hair, ears, cups if I am having a drink, book if I am reading just to get more attention! She even climbs up to get right in my face! If I leave the room she follows me and makes it very hard to get anything done!

When in her cage there are periods when she constantly calls for attention and gets very aggressive with her toys, throwing them about and pulling sooo hard on the hanging toy that the cage rocks! She hops onto the bottom of the cage pacing back and forth wildly while watching me. She just seems so manic! We have had to resort to covering her for short periods until she has settled! But let her out and she is full of love and mischief! My husband is retired and at home through the day and says that she appears to pine for me screeching and calling and when he lets her out of her cage she flys from room to room trying to find me.

On one hand it is such a lovely feeling to be so loved and trusted but I am concerned about this obsession. My husband is the one who feeds her, cleans her cage and offers the most treats, so her attraction to me is baffling. He is able to approach and pet her for short periods but if I am about she only has eyes for me!!!

So I am hoping someone can offer some suggestions for encouraging our gorgeous girl/boy to share the love with the rest of our flock [img][img][/img][/img]

[smallworld]

I read your story and it was fascinating Its nice the way your bird has bonded with you. Some people are rewarded with an 'extremely' loyal best friend .

Perhaps what you could do, is move the cage or if shes clipped, sit her on a perch near the door, so she can see you leave and doesnt go around screaming the whole day. Do you say bye to her before you leave? Just asking because we practice this with our birds and they know when we say bye, we'll be leaving for awhile.

Most people say that if you dont want a certain reaction, you should just ignore it. I dont know if it is possible to do this in your case. How about everytime she comes to you, you just pick her and set her right back on her cage?

If shes screaming for attention or throwing toys about, just try ignoring it (though you might have to do this for more than just a week) and when she has settled down, have your husband go to her and offer seeds or just stand there and talk to her. It would also show her that your husband is a 'good guy'. But you shouldnt completely ignore her either. This would result in her hating you and thats bad. You should do a few things with her too but try to do the same or a little less than your husband for the time being.

I know you said, that he does everything but she still likes you. This is very likely because birds dont necessarily bond with the caretaker but rather who they like or regard as a 'good person'. However, its always odd to hear an IRN do this because they're regarded as family birds. Being as that they dont pick out a mate for life, they generally tend not to bond to one specific person. But theres the occasional rule breaker, like yours

My wife and I have had other birds display a similar behavior to yours. What we used to do, is just let the bird be. Because we each have birds that like to spend time with one of us more than the other.

I dont know if you've already tried or want to try what I've suggested but thats all I could think of for now. If I do come up with something better, I'll post.

[Miss Jojo]

Hi Smallworld and thank you for your reply.

We certainly have tried a number of things.......Bluey's cage is situated within the hub of our home and she can certainly see when I leave and re enter the room. Saying goodbye is something I dont do as it is still fairly dark when I leave for work but it is certainly something that I will consider.
When she is screeching we cover her just until she has settled and my hubby has tried talking to her but she just gets angry ( feathers on the neck raised and striking out). I have also tried putting her back on her cage but as she is not clipped (and that is something I really dont want to do) she just flies back onto my head as soon as my back is turned

So as you can see I have tried a number of things and I certainly dont want to ruin the trust that we have developed.
I guess Bluey is just a one women bird for the moment and hopefully she will learn to love and trust the rest of the family in time( we have only had her for 3 1/2 months so maybe time will tell.

Thank you for your suggestions and I look forward to any others you may think of!

Jo

[smallworld]

Hi Jo,
I didnt know she was only 3.5 months. But thats really good that she has bonded with you so well. Perhaps she just needs a little more time with your husband. It could be that she just finds you better company. If he would keep talking to her despite her lack of interest with him, it might work. Maybe he could offer her treats or something everytime he talks to her and she doesnt get irritated by it. If she doesnt like him talking, maybe he can just whistle or sing or whatever he feels like doing but not doing it to her. I mean, dont whistle to her but to himself while doing something. She might get interested.

If she is only a few months old, I wouldnt worry too much about her character being formed.

[Miss Jojo]

Sorry I should have explained myself better!!!

Bluey was a rescue bird...she was caught by a friend after she had been visiting my friends backyard for about 6 weeks...they kept her for 6 months before offering her to us. So we are really unsure of her age, but know that she is obviously more than 1 year old! You can read more details about her in our introduction post.

Jo

[smallworld]

Hi sorry, I didnt know that earlier.

Well at your friends place what did they do with her? Who handled her? Sometimes the vets can help with the approximate age, have you tried that?

Her behaviour could also be something that was there from her home before your friends. The previous handler could've been a male and maybe things didnt go all that well. That could be why she gets angry when your husband goes near her. If this is the case, then his best bet is winning her good side. Treats, always being nice despite her reactions towards him and its probably better not force her to do anything. I think your stand on clipping is right in this case and you probably shouldnt do it. Then the trust will be broken.

I have not read your introductory post yet. Sorry, its been a busy couple of days. Hope you're making progress with your little bird