Needing SERIOUS help with my IRN

[spaceyosaka]

Hello all! I'm new to this site and I'm hoping to get good tips and feedback from ya'll. To get to the point, through strange chance I acquired a IRN that we have dubbed "Lola." (She flew on one of our employees heads when he was outside, said hello, and he brought her to us.) She had a tag on her ankle but we were unable to find her owner. If I remember correctly, this all occurred about 10-12 months ago. From the beginning, she has exhibited behavior that I know now is called "bluffing." (Keep in mind that until today, I did not know exactly what she was and thus, did not understand IRN behavior I'm sorry to say. My mother insisted she was a conure and we purchased a conure guide book so we at least had basics on diet and some behavior. Though I always knew she wasn't a conure, I left it at that and investigated no further until today. I wish I had done so much sooner for I fear that some of her behavior may be irreversible.) She is very fearful, squawks almost constantly on some days, bites, growls, is aggressive, and there are probably more details I can't remember. We thought that her old owners must have abused her for her to act this way, but now I think otherwise. (Though, I am suspicious that they let her loose outside because they couldn't deal with the bluffing behavior.) Like I stated earlier, I'm afraid that some of her behavior may be permanent. We didn't know how to treat the bluffing behavior until now and I hope we haven't scarred her. (Though we were never violent or abusive of course.) Though, she can be very sweet sometimes. When she flies around, she loves to land on my head or hang out on my shoulder or arm. If I'm sitting in bed, she likes to investigate under the covers and inside pillow cases! She knows how to say "Pretty Bird" and loves to cluck and whistle. While at no time can you even imagine petting her, lately she has been tilting her head far back, clucks constantly, and lets my mother pet her all over her body. (A mating behavior I assume lol) I love my pretty girl and I want her to get through this behavior, if possible, to see what kind of bird she is underneath the bluff. Though this may be expecting too much, I hope ya'll can help. I greatly appreciate it.

[julie]

ok we will see if we can help you out.
firstly you need to gain her confidence-let her see that you are friendly
sit near her cage and eat fruit or something that will get her attention, they are fairly driven by food.
try not to let her see if you are bothered by the bluffing- she gets you away she wins.

for now concentrate on the trust thing and then work up to getting her to step up and touching her.

[spaceyosaka]

ok we will see if we can help you out.
firstly you need to gain her confidence-let her see that you are friendly
sit near her cage and eat fruit or something that will get her attention, they are fairly driven by food.
try not to let her see if you are bothered by the bluffing- she gets you away she wins.

for now concentrate on the trust thing and then work up to getting her to step up and touching her.

Thank you very much! Yeah, I try to sit by her cage and talk and eat by her. (She bobs her head when I have something tasty) I can hand feed her through her cage and when she is out of it. (Well, only if its a food she likes) She can be pretty gentle sometimes...like if I put a little oatmeal on my finger, she will lick it all off! Wait...its ok for them to have oatmeal right?! But yeah, Im still working on the trust issue! Thank you!

[julie]

also watch her body language and her eyes, take note of how she is when she wants you to be near her and also what she is doing when she gets narky with you. When indie bluffs with me i stand just out of reach of his strike and make a point of not walking away until he knows he hasnt won.

Does your mum give her treats or sneak her treats? sometimes the primary person that feeds them is the favorite.
If you do give her things like oatmeal it should only be every so often and not a great deal of it at a time, milk is a bit iffy with them. Try her with some fruit juice and see if you end up with a better friend.

[spaceyosaka]

also watch her body language and her eyes, take note of how she is when she wants you to be near her and also what she is doing when she gets narky with you. When indie bluffs with me i stand just out of reach of his strike and make a point of not walking away until he knows he hasnt won.

Does your mum give her treats or sneak her treats? sometimes the primary person that feeds them is the favorite.
If you do give her things like oatmeal it should only be every so often and not a great deal of it at a time, milk is a bit iffy with them. Try her with some fruit juice and see if you end up with a better friend.

Thank you, I'll remember that about bluffing. And, yes my mom does give her treats....actually we all do. Is that bad?? (<----newbie alert) Me, my mom, my stepdad, my sister occasionally.....she is afraid of her... So should only I feed her and give her treats? Also, is it ok if I feed her a little oatmeal without milk? If I make it with water instead? ALSO, what does it mean when she makes herself look skinny, holds her wings out from her at her sides and shivers and gets really nervous?