Help please, new 3 month old IRN.

[tracymulder]

Hello, i have just got my first irn, she is 3 months old from a breeder, i got her on jan 25th 2012 and she apparently had already learned to step up and did it for just about anybody at the breeders.
Here, she gets frightened and shreeks and flies around the cage if i get to close to it and definitly when i put my hand inside.
She is eating, drinking and playing with her bell/mirror toy, the breeder told me i was to try and handle her but all that did make her even more fightened of me, to top it off the breeder told me to leave the cage open, so of course when she flew out yesterday by accident when trying to avoid me when i was refilling her food, getting her back inside the cage was so scarry for her and for me since i felt very helpless.
Any advice?, i was made to feel like it is me or my family that she is not okay with, and that i should force her to come out and be handled or she will go wild on me, when common sense and having owned many pets over my lifetime told me i should have just let her settle in, i have never owned a bird so was trusting the word of someone who should know.
I plan to own her for her entire lifetime.....this was a planned out and researched addition to my family and not an impulse purchase, i just want to make sure i do everything right and that she is the happiest girl ever!! I have un limited time to spend, making sure this is accomplished.
Please Help.

[taywer321]

Start by clipping the wings. They will grow back, so once she is tamed if you choose to give her free flight they will grow back in. Clipping makes training and taming much easier and faster.

[tracymulder]

the breeder already clipped the wings a week before i got her....problem is she won't let me even stand with my hand on the outside of the cage without freaking out so there is no way i could possibly hold her.

[ellieelectrons]

Spend lots of time with her in a non-threatening way. Make sure she is in a position where she can observe you going about your daily duties. Eat in front of her and when appropriate offer her some of your food through the bars. If she won't come over, drop it into her regular food bowl. Talk to her in a kind tone of voice. Watch for small improvements and celebrate those. Even one step towards you when you're holding food is a triumph. It takes time but with perseverance and kindness, it can improve. It takes some time for them to come round. Our second bird had been handraised but was petrified of us when we brought him home. It took several months to tame him down.

Don't feel bad that he would step up at the breeders... you've changed your bird's whole environment and routines... you've probably taken it away from its siblings... it doesn't feel confident yet... but over time you can win her over. Just take your queue from her. Don't push it too much.

Best wishes.

Ellie.

[tracymulder]

Thanks for your thoughts so far, i have been doing all the things you have suggested, so i guess i am doing something right so far, lol. she just seems so terrified even stepping close to the cage or walking by it, plus I can't avoid changing her water and topping up her food or cleaning the cage and those things seem so devistating for her. So i have been doing the eating close and the talking to her from a distance as regular as possible.

Thanks,
Tracy

[taywer321]

Don't give up! Your bird is so young that there is no doubt she'll come around with lots of care and patience. She may surprise you someday soon. Do quiet activities near her.. I sat a stool right next to my baby's cage and would read next to him. Eventually, he would inch over to investigate, curious what I was doing. And it just grows from there.