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I have had my IRN for about a month now. She finally started calming down with me but my parents are constantly getting her out, letting her do the things im trying to train her not to do. And she is starting to not want anything to do with me.

Should i stop them from messing with her? I dont really want a bird that is "mine" but wants nothing to do with me.

That happens to me too. (Only my bird hasn't been picking up bad habits.) Rufus will let my mom pet him when he's on his basket, but me? Only a little bit. Maybe and he might growl. He's finally staying on my shoulder for a longer time than usual and fluff out his feathers. (He almost always kept them slicked back. I think it may have been because he wasn't used to me moving so fast.) Sometimes it's nice to have an ally because both my brothers...don't really like my birds. (Tragic! Who doesn't like being woken up and 7:30 by screaming?) And if I don't have time to give Rufus any attention then it's good he has someone else who does. I don't know where you keep your bird, but I keep Rufus in my room which is also where I do all my homework, listen to music, so he can hang out with me and still be on his cage. (It's his precioussssss) And if your birdy doesn't like you as much, then just eat food in front of her cage and she'll be your best friend. :p Actually, that's pretty much the only time when Rufus is a pest...when I'm trying to eat some chocolate ice cream that he can't have (convenient, hey?) and he realllllllly wants some. He threw a full fledged temper tantrum complete with ear splitting squacks. (Ouch!) Just keep playing with her and spending time with her and hopefully you should win her over.

What is your parents doing that you don't like or what are they doing that you are trying to teach your bird not to do?

I think it is nice that your parents are helping out with your new bird. If you still live at home, who takes care of the bird when you are not home? Who feeds her, puts her to bed, etc when you are not there? I know so many people who have birds and pets and the parents don't want anything to do with them. You should be thankful that your parents allow you to have pets!



Hang in there. You just need to spend as much time with her as you can. Sometimes birds have an issue with trust. If you have done something to her within this first month that she does not like or can remember as being uncomfortable, then she will remember that.

And just like people, ringies will bond quickly with some folks and it will take a little longer with others. I think it is great that your folks want to be involved and that your bird loves them back! Slow and steady and she will learn to trust all of you.

Sometimes they can just pick one person and its not always you they have eyes for. I think its great your parents are getting involved, maybe just tell them to step back a little. You offer the treats, you praise her, you give the love. Your parents can still spend time with her of course but your taking charge. Give it a little time. Building a relationship takes alot.

Jibby has many degrees of affection for some of us, he used to be just mine, then I had to leave him for a year to work interstate, he bonded to my sister in that time, now I'm back, he still loves me alot, but when my sister is around once every couple of weeks, he gets sooo excited! At bedtimes, he only wants my partner to talk to him, If I go near him at bedtimes he grumbles at me. Whole other story when my partner talks to him. hehe. Kinda makes you feel rejected but don't take it so personally, they don't mean to upset you.

irn.lover wrote:What is your parents doing that you don't like or what are they doing that you are trying to teach your bird not to do?

I think it is nice that your parents are helping out with your new bird. If you still live at home, who takes care of the bird when you are not home? Who feeds her, puts her to bed, etc when you are not there? I know so many people who have birds and pets and the parents don't want anything to do with them. You should be thankful that your parents allow you to have pets!



Hang in there. You just need to spend as much time with her as you can. Sometimes birds have an issue with trust. If you have done something to her within this first month that she does not like or can remember as being uncomfortable, then she will remember that.

hi mom.

sarrant wrote:

irn.lover wrote:What is your parents doing that you don't like or what are they doing that you are trying to teach your bird not to do?

I think it is nice that your parents are helping out with your new bird. If you still live at home, who takes care of the bird when you are not home? Who feeds her, puts her to bed, etc when you are not there? I know so many people who have birds and pets and the parents don't want anything to do with them. You should be thankful that your parents allow you to have pets!



Hang in there. You just need to spend as much time with her as you can. Sometimes birds have an issue with trust. If you have done something to her within this first month that she does not like or can remember as being uncomfortable, then she will remember that.

hi mom.

hah!

On more practical note, just like almost any other animal.. the ones who spend the most time with them, who treat them the way they want to be treated (even if this means getting away with things they should not be getting away with) will be the number one person to them.

Basicly, be the one who spends most of the time with it, be the one who gives it its special favourite treat! Be the one doing the training, and teach your parents, that when they want to play with it etc, to teach it the same tricks, or at least tell them what you are trying to do, so they dont put the lessons you are giving to waste!

Mom? OMG Never. I am not even married or old enough to be married. And children, are you crazy? LOL I am only 18 years old. I must admit that I have been called many things in my life, but never mom!!!!!! Must write this entry down in my diary as a first.

I am new to this website. I have had buttercup for two years. I have read a ton of posts, but this one popped out right away because I have had the same issue in my family. Reading your post was like watching my favorite movie again for the 15th time. <giggles> Maybe when I can figure out how to post her picture, I will do that. So you can see her. She is beautiful!!!!!!!!!

The reason I asked what your parents were doing is because I went through the same thing with my mom. When I first got my little buttercup, I got really jealous because my mom would get her out too and then buttercup would get more excited to see her than me. She was my bird and I wanted her all to myself. And the more my mom interacted with her, the more ticked off I got.

When my mom Lillie would get her out, I just felt like my sweet baby liked her more than me. I felt like she was letting buttercup get away with murder. When I told my mom how I felt, what I wrote to you in your post is the argument my mom gave to me. My mother stomped around and said, "Well fine then. I won't get her out, I won't pay any attention to her, when you are out with your friends don't ask me nor will I put her to bed, she can stay uncovered all night until you decide to come home, etc, etc, etc." Let's just say she was quite upset.

After I thought about it for a few weeks, I finally realized that my mom really was not doing anything wrong with buttercup and my jealousy issue went away. And after listening to buttercup scream and yell to get out of her cage all of the time........ Let's just say, I was glad to hand her over to my mom! And trust me when I say, there were plenty of nights when I was out with my friends and I really did need my mom to help me with her and because I overreacted my mom would not help me. I guess I was just being a bratty kid who thought she knew it all when it came to my buttercup.

The reason buttercup liked my mom so much was because she was patient with her. She would get her out and carry her around, give her kisses, spend time with her, talk to her non stop, whisper in her ear and BUTTERCUP LOVED THE ATTENTION. And when I watched my mom with her, it was very obvious that she did in fact spend more quality time with her than I did. I just had to learn to share her with others and spend as much time with her as my mom did. Buttercup is an attention hog. She can never get enough.

Well, after this long winded post, I can honestly say, it will get better. Just don't be mean to your mom like I was with mine. Everything written by others in this topic is true. All IRN's have a mind of their own. They pick and choose who they want to be more comfortable with than others. Fah is exactly right in what he wrote.

Lisa