I just woke too Neo and been posting too.
Sometimes I look back at 'just woke up' posts and think 'damn, what was I thinking' lol. So, I have started literally warning people... JUST WOKE UP, bare with me.
I have two personalities. The just woke up personality doesnt sugar coat things. Very clinical and to the point. No personality.
When I wake.... wooooo Nelly.
*yake yake yake yake*
My husband sometimes asks for just 5 minutes no talking AND IT INFURIATES ME! Makes me feel like he is trying to treat me like a child. Phft, NOT! But, now that Jared is big I appreciate why he has to do that sometimes.
Jared and I are very vocal and it does get to be too much. Unless these kids are in school, we are all always together. Jeff and I both are self-employed and work from hom usually. We have offices to meet clients but usually we are ALL... ALWAYS... TOGETHER.
Yup, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It sucks sometimes but none of us would have it any other way. We are either extremely happy and just want to be together OR extremely sick and co-dependant... either way, doesnt matter as long as we are all happy.
It is Matt we miss the most, he works 40 hours a week and is a senior in high school so he isnt home like we want him to be.
Thank God above I had whatever it takes (still dont know) to have raised my boy to starve for knowledge. All I have ever asked of Matthew in return for my having him at 15 was one thing... and it has always been very understood:
Never any grades under a 'B' (this would be irrational in some cases but Matthew is too smart for his own good and never has to pick up a book, he can hear once and retain). Have no clue where he got that from, wasnt me. I have to study really hard.
Walk the stage with a diploma... something noone can ever take away from you.
He did that for his Mama and he is as proud as I am. Im not proud of this but only Mattthew and I have an education. The rest of my family wanted to stay on the reservation so didnt bother with education. I didnt want to remain there.
I remember asking my Granny, 'Why dont we have grass'? And her response was "white, rich people have grass baby" -shakes her head-
Stuff like that sticks with a child and I made up my mind dammit....
I WILL HAVE GRASS. Pretty sad when grass is an amazing concept lol. So was electicity and plumbing. I remember the first house I went into with all of that. I was like, 'ok, ok, let me get this right... I flip that and lights come on? What do you do with whats in the toilet? Ohhh a handle and it flushes away forever! OMG, I was freaking at all of that.
We had no lights after dark and went pee pee in whats called an 'out house'. A wood shed with a deep whole dug into the ground. The whole is always filled with snakes because they loves crap -shrug-. So, you had to make sure they were all at the bottom and keep and eye on them while going. SUCKED.
Love my people, love my heritage and Im proud to be Cherokee but the reservation was NOT for me. Getting drunk and fighting isnt my idea of a good time.
Anymore.
.. was the best night !