Hi! i know youre probably pretty worried, but you need to keep at it. Birds arent dogs - they are not pack animals and in the wild they are prey, not predators. As such, training is more difficult and time consuming. You have to build a relationship and that takes time. You cant expect him to be obsessed with you as soon as you got him home. I'll pick apart your post to hopefully help and give you some feedback

good luck
My 10wk old IRN arrived a week and a half ago. I had to fly him/her, probably not a good idea. Too make a long story short the baby arrives he let me hold him and pet him when I tried to give him a treat he freaked out. For the first few days he was eating fine but otherwise just sitting in his cage doing basically nothing. Not making a peep.
This is exactly the sort of behaviour to expect. He is scared, in a new environment and has no idea whats going on. Immediately after the most traumatic experience of his life, a huge monster (though you only offer love) picks him up and wraps hands around him. ARRGGHH!! theres a possibility that he was scarred into inaction here. As someone has suggested, just let him hang out in a common area of the house (NOT tucked away in a quiet room) so he gets used to your presence and activity. After a few days, offer a treat - though he almost certainly wont come and take it, let him see you holding it, then drop it into a food container and go about whatever youre doing. He'll get to know your presence means tasty treats. this is the starting step!
I talk to him and take him out, but as soon as i'm not holding him he will fly away. His wings are clipped but apparently not enough.
As above, slow steps to begin with -dont try and handle him just yet. As to flying, yes he will still be able to fly even with clipped wings, a bird should NEVER have their wings clipped so much that they cannot fly. clipping just inhibits their ability and can help with training as it makes flying away more of an effort. If he is just flying away, it is because he is willing to exert that effort to escape. go back to step one and move slower...
I would wait until he is comfortable with you before you start letting him out, so then he can associate being out with having fun with you - if you get what i mean. hopefully you'll get to a point (probably not for months atleast) where you dont even need to keep the cage locked anymore. my baby is rarely locked in his cage, loves to be out and play but will always find him back in his cage
He has made some progress at least he does move around in his cage some and he will actually look at me when I talk to him. When he first got here he would just turn his back.
thats great. it means he is starting to be a bit more comfortable with his environment.
I have read all I can about training an IRN etc.,
one of the best sources of information you should read through is this forum. the most common post is along the lines of "please help, how do i fix my bird" or "please help, i dont know how to get my bird to play with me"...read through pages and see what responses have been and what people have done...believe me, i started out one of those people. im no expert, but im happy to share my knowledge with you as others did with me
good luck, dont be disappointed. all you can do now is love that bird and work really hard to help make its life easier