I NEED HELP BECAUSE I'M CONFUSED!

[JackSKellington77]

OK...so I've never had a bird EVER and I spent alot of time learning about the IRN before finally deciding to get him...he's a little over a year old and I just barely got him 3 days ago...now the lady I got him from told me to tame I need to be hands on RIGHT away and to just hold him and pet him...but I'm afraid that I'm going to traumatize him...and so I looked online and online it says to take the slow approach let him come to you with the step up command and so on...but when we I went to the a specialty pet food store for exotic birds the lady there told to take the hands on approach as well...now I'm confused and I don't want to hurt him or like I said traumatize him AT ALL!...I just want to love him what is the best way to tame him?...and another tid bit: he's never had humans touching him before so he's not tamed at all, he also gets scared even when I try to get close to his cage, and he hates gloves!...if someone could help me that'd be very apprieciated thank you very much!


~Sonya and JaKe SKellington!

[ALcatraz]

hi if your new bird is anything like my two, hands on right away,may not be a good idea,YOU may be traumatised !like in OOOOOOOOOOOOUCH my two are 3 & 2 and been rehomed twice already,i'll let mine get used to me sitting nearby and lots of quiet chats [and treats,]to make them feel comfortable before i become a blood doner I tried too quickly to get cosy with my African Grey, a very painful mistake. But ive had him 6 months and things are much improved .
Im sure someone will advise you,with more experience than me ,although i have several birds these are my first Ringnecks GOOD LUCK with your new bird. AL.

[hisandy]

This is a great place to get advice. There are so many great experts.

I have found a lot of success by remembering that relationships with birds are in some ways like with people but in many ways VERY different. Birds are not like dogs or cats!

Trust is important, consistency and routine is key. My IRN has a very social temperament with me but squawks and runs from my husband. Once they bond with you the relationship can begin. Starting with that is the foundation, I find it interesting that people call it taming. I refer to it as a relationship.

I started by just opening the cage and exploring the environment with Brett. I watched what he was interested in and explored it with him. You will find they watch you and are always listening. My goals was to find ways of building a form of communication (non-verbal and verbal)

Brett (boy or girl?) is about 9 months (I think) and now is talking a lot. We are now in a new stage of relationship---communication verbally. He is part of my daily routine and is only in his cage when I am not home.

I hope this has helped?

[ALcatraz]

sounds like you are off to a good start !,and that is a good point [taming]. Trust has to be mutual and is vital,the term ''training'' do's seem to imply ones dominance over the bird [dog ferret or what ever.]The two IRNs i have are not juviniles,dont talk,are not hand ''tame'',and were not even given names by previous keeper they were caged,but may as well have been aviary birds as far as socialising is concerened.So i really feel im going to have to work hard to get any where with them.Hope i dont lose too many fingers in my effort to win them over.

[Enephis]

Every bird is different. The hands on approach worked for me and my buddy, but I didn't really rush into anything. I read like a maniac when I first got him, but just a decade ago, you couldn't find a decent book on parrot mind and behaviour in my native language. Come to think of it, you probably still can't. So I had to improvise a bit.

With us, it was a little bit of both. I am guilty of putting on gloves, cupping him and carefully taking him out of his cage after about a week or two. He was addicted to his cage. When he was out, I took all the time in the world though. We sometimes spent hours on the floor, me just lying there, reading or doing something similar, and he sitting a few steps away, eyeing me constantly. Took about a year for him to voluntarily come to me when outside, and a bit more to come out from his cage.

If you want to "tame" a frightened bird, you can't really avoid stress. It's about making him comfortable around your hands and fingers and later, hopefully, your nose or ears or whatever. And that is something he doesn't want. You coming near his cage, new environment, new sounds and smells and everything is stressful to him. But it's rarely a thing that will traumatise, or scar him for life, especially when there's no physical harm involved.

It takes time to trust and bond, so don't worry too much. You've been together for only three days, when you have at least three decades of life and possibilities ahead.

[jimmyjack]

If you want to "tame" a frightened bird, you can't really avoid stress. It's about making him comfortable around your hands and fingers and later, hopefully, your nose or ears or whatever. And that is something he doesn't want. You coming near his cage, new environment, new sounds and smells and everything is stressful to him. But it's rarely a thing that will traumatise, or scar him for life, especially when there's no physical harm involved.

judging from what youve described, id suggest the slow approach. i agree with hisandy, "taming" a bird is all about building trust and a relationship. even now, ive had iggy for a year and a few times when ive changed the way i act, shes retreated to a more distrusting state.

its youre call, and the 'forced love' approach CAN work for SOME birds, but it definately is very stressful on them, and also you. it was okay with salvador, who was too young to know better (or worse). iggy came from a bad place, and it most definately did not work with her. its difficult as you continually getting bitten, they scream in agony (as do you when the bites land) and theres a horrifying guilt from what youre doing to them. i couldnt do it. personally i prefer the slow road.

[ellieelectrons]

If you are going to take the "gently, gently" approach to training then there is a subtle thing that I picked up the other day. I'd always seen training as trying to "train" the bird to do some sort of behaviour.

I've trained our birds to:
- wave and turnaround: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYrNZ3-ZVio
- dunk basketballs: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKugZMVNBuM
- go to bed: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBIuDWdKgx4
- retrieve items and put them in a cup
- do a 360 around the perch on cue
- some speech
and some other things.

But some behaviours I find really difficult and have eluded me because they would get agressive when I tried to train the behaviour. Some of these behaviours are important because they will make trips to the vet easier and will allow me to grab them if they are ever in danger. I recently realised through a video someone posted to this forum.... that sometimes when you're training it's not about them doing the behaviour but about helping them to be calm in certain situations.... so sometimes I just need to reward calmness.

For example, when Janey was a baby and we needed to get her in the cage we would chase her around the place with a bit of dowel to try to get her to step up and go in the cage. (It was a bad mistake on our part but we didn't know what else to do). She didn't like that very much and it traumatised her. This then caused her to attack the dowel any time one came near her.... and then when she figured that that didn't do anything, she would try to attack the hand holding the dowel (we have one smart bird!). So, our usually calm bird who loves being with us would turn into an attack bird when we brought the dowel out... a problem that we caused ourselves... so I set up trying to untrain this behaviour by bringing the dowel close to her. This would cause her to get angry at it... At first, I wouldn't bring it too close, just close enough for her to look a bit agitated. I'd wait for her to calm down, then give her the "good bird" bridge and give her a treat. It took a couple of days and now she pretty much looks forward to the dowel. I am hoping to be able to apply this technique to some other behaviours too... but the trick is figuring out the right approximations to start with.

Sorry for the long post. I hope it helps someone!

Ellie.