I'm DONE--I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE

jen5239 · Post by **jen5239** » Wed Nov 02, 2005 3:26 pm

I know you guys are all going to hate me and think I'm a loser. But I just can't take it anymore. I'm sitting here bawling my eyes out cuz of that stupid bird! Dang it. He just bit the holy **** out of my arm, my finger and my wrist. And that was maybe 5 minutes of interaction. Then I got him calmed down and he was sitting there for a minute and then he just took off and flew right at my face. Like he was going to kill me. And he sure bit me when I was trying to get him from the floor to his cage. I can't do it anymore. I'm really beginning to HATE him. And I don't want to feel that way. I didn't get him so I could just feed him and clean his cage yet that's all I seem to be able to do. I hope someone out there can understand. He just hangs in his cage. He doesn't make hardly any noise. I think he's as unhappy as I am. Damn it why does he hate me?? Why is he so afraid of me?? I've never done anything to him, but try to love him. It's been 2 months and NOTHING much has progressed. And I feel this way MUCH more than any other way. And dang it those freakin' bites hurt like hell. I'm still bruised from the last escapade with him. Well I can't see anymore cuz my tears have stained my glasses. I hope all of you don't hate me. I hope I'll be allowed to post more on here.

Sadly Defeated,
Jen

Mikaela · Post by **Mikaela** » Wed Nov 02, 2005 3:29 pm

It doesnt matter WHAT ANYONE THINKS. You have tried with all of your might, some animals are not good pets... Noones fault.

Trade the bird for a baby, any breeder will be more than happy to trade you bird for bird. If a bird doesnt make a good pet it might make an awesome breeder bird and be happier.

It has been months. You have listened to everything we have said. He is not a good pet, just as some dogs arent and have to be put down or cats that dont want to be petted so they scratch. He doesnt want anymore to do with you now than he did, less in fact.

Dont feel guilty. You owe no explanation and if it were me I would do exactly what I am advising you to do.

Just as all of us, you deserve raising a baby that will love you and remember only you. You deserve the opportunity to bond with a bird from a young age, nothing tops it.

There I said it.

Post by **Datsun and Family** » Wed Nov 02, 2005 3:37 pm

I agree with Mikaela,

If you feel you have done your best and it is not fair on Byndi to go through that kind of trauma anymore you should find him a new home. Because he is a beautiful turquoise most breeders would be happy to have him and once he regrows his flights he may make a great breeding bird.

He obviously does not enjoy human contact, maybe you could speak to the people you got him from.

Hang in there mate and dont make any rash decisions, whatever you do we will be here for you.

jen5239 · Post by **jen5239** » Wed Nov 02, 2005 3:43 pm

Thanks Mikaela & Chamon,
I'm still crying so hard. It's breaking my heart and I feel like such a loser. But I don't know what else to do. He just seems to hate me and everything to do with life outside of his cage. I don't want to call the "breeders" I got him from cuz they're a joke. So... But I don't want him to have a horrible life either. I'm so at a loss. I don't know what to do. But I do appreciate your kind words. I hate myself for feeling this way. I hate myself for failing Byndi! Right now I just hate myself.

Heartbroken,
Jen

Mikaela · Post by **Mikaela** » Wed Nov 02, 2005 4:16 pm

He doesnt hate you. He hates captivity, human contact.

You be firm with that breeder! Tell him or her the hell you have been through and the support and advice you have sought and received. If it comes down to it, DEMAND a baby. Or a refund and go elsewhere.

It wont come to that though because he is beautiful and they would be glad to have him. I dont even know if I would start with the breeder you got him from.

Think it out but enough is enough and you have BY FAR given it enough and then some. At this point, the bird is only being tramatized not to mention yourself.

Chamon

Thank you for seeing my side, I fiqured this would cause some ruffled feathers but knew those that have watch this know I speak the truth and from the heart.

PeeDee · Post by **PeeDee** » Wed Nov 02, 2005 4:30 pm

I can imagine how you feel. I think that you might try an adoption group. If you have an avian vet she/he might know who would be willing to take him in and have him adopted by someone. We have an adoption program here and it works real well. Before you and your bird feel any worse find a new place for her? him?. I will suggest that when you pick up your next indian ringneck shop around and find one that is either young enough or has been handled alot from birth. With ringnecks the amount of handling they get from birth is important. I know, I have 2 ringnecks and Ranger my second ringneck was handled from the start and is incredible, PeeDee who was my first bird was wild when we got him at 6 months and I can tell you that for the past two years it has been very difficult. My husband and I would laugh at my hamburger fingers. Yes, it was bad. I read all the books and worked on it every day. Now we are alot better and I can play with him, but not for long periods of time. He gets short spurts that is all he wants. She is happy though, she preens and flicks her tail and loves the shower. I just take her wherever I go in the house and she hangs out and plays. By the way PeeDee is the female and Ranger is a male. I do know that my female is moody and I have learned to respect her moods. Good luck

Mikaela · Post by **Mikaela** » Wed Nov 02, 2005 4:37 pm

Ditto to Peedee's post.

I want to choke that lying breeder.... "Oh he is so sweet and looooves to be handled." grrr

Hope they enjoyed their fast buck. :twisted:

Truth be known, he was and always has been a breeder bird.

Google · Post by **Google** » Wed Nov 02, 2005 4:38 pm

I feel the same way about Google. She bites and lunges at me...I bought her at 8 weeks. I have handled her almost daily. She is 6 months old. I thought that getting her a friend would make things better....but from the advice given here and from a few breeders I talked to...that only makes it worse! I am at wits end. I lost a wonderful sweet cuddley Cockatoo when I went to college, and I was hoping that this would be my new feathered best friend. But obvirously I chose the wrong type of bird. I am so so upset. What do I do now too?

Mikaela · Post by **Mikaela** » Wed Nov 02, 2005 4:44 pm

With you getting it so young there shouldnt be any problems. At 6 months, maybe a lunge or two here and there but certainly not an everyday thing.

You do know IRNs must be handled alot and often? Everyday. And that sunflower seeds make them aggressive, as does a poor diet consisting only of pellets and/or seeds.

If this is a new thing, maybe s/he is an early bluffer?

There are many posts concerning bluffing, I would read those and see if I notice any similarities.

In NO WAY could you ever compare an IRN to a Cockatoo as far as being sweet and cudley. A sweet and loving IRN will tolerate a rub or two here and there, or a snuggle but if they arent eating you, consider it a good day. :shock:

Google · Post by **Google** » Wed Nov 02, 2005 5:13 pm

yeah...I think I made a mistake, should have bought another Cockatoo. She just ran across the cage floor and tried to bite me through the bars. I have taken to wearing leather gloves to handle her...like a hawk. She bites anything she can get her beak on, and if I don't hold her like a baby, she flies away...mind you her wings are clipped. Tonight she hurt a wingfeather and it started bleeding...just cause she tried to lunge at my head and hit the floor instead. I have owned birds...so I stopped the bleeding with some baking powder..but gosh. Why does this happen in this breed of bird? I thought that all birds could be cuddlers if you got them early enough.

Sorry to hijack a thread.

tasha · Post by **tasha** » Wed Nov 02, 2005 5:47 pm

Jen
I'm so sorry you are still not making the headway that you wanted, you have tryed and tryed I hope it doesn't put you off birds alltogether.
Make the decision that feels right to you. My whole family is thinking of you at this hard time.
Tasha

Mikaela · Post by **Mikaela** » Wed Nov 02, 2005 6:21 pm

I feel so badly for the problems we ae having right now. We just have to stick together and do what is right, first of all for the birds. Secondly, be supportive of such a decision. Sensitivity to this issue is crutial.

Thank all of you that have posted. Google, your problem is the same, dont worry about jumping in. We all want to help ASAP even if that means posting in odd places somtimes.

Thats what Im here for... to fix the board after yall trash it. :wink:

Let me say this one more time:

We are going to find good homes for these babies. And we are going to find young babies to start with and everything is going to be great. Thereby, ensuring the birds are good and the former parronts are happy. NO GUILT!

Jen:

We are all looking for breeders near you.

Tasha:

Please let us know what you decide.

baby_bella · Post by **baby_bella** » Wed Nov 02, 2005 6:36 pm

jen, dont fret, you did your best and i argee that your birdie may just not enjoy human contact and i believe he or she will make an excellant breeder!

get a youngling at about 6 weeks that when i got mine, you can enjoy the hand feeding and bonding and the cuddles they give....

you did a great job with byndi and i know tht the baby you get you will lavish it with so much love....

Mikaela · Post by **Mikaela** » Wed Nov 02, 2005 6:42 pm

I agree, I would shoot for between 6 and 12 weeks... not tooo much over that.

I got my Baby at 8 weeks.

jen5239 · Post by **jen5239** » Wed Nov 02, 2005 6:53 pm

Every post I read from all of you makes me just cry and cry. I don't want to get rid of Byndi! Maybe I'm more attached than I thought I was. But I don't know what to do. Dang it. My head and eyes hurt so bad from crying all night. I don't want to just toss him out of my life. But then again I do. I'm so confused. I'm so lost right now. I'm NOT the kind of person that just gets an animal and then gets tired of it and gets rid of it. I have three dogs, three cats, a cockatiel and Byndi. And one of our dogs was 5 1/2 years old when we adopted her from the shelter. She had been abandoned by her previous "owners" in the dead of winter, chained to a tree for who knows how long with no water or food. AND her choke chain had grown in to her neck and they had to surgically remove it. You should see the scars. So I don't have a problem with adopting older animals. They are a part of my family. I'm not able to have children and these guys are MY children. So this is just tearing me up inside and out. I HATE BEING ME RIGHT NOW. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO YOU GUYS. One minute I think I'm okay with trying to find him another home and the next I'm not. But I want to thank you all for your kindness and help. I hope someday maybe the board will do some kind of get together somewhere and we could all meet. Then I would go to each and every one of you and give you big hugs. And cry! Thank you all so much.

Love and appreciation to you all,
Jennifer

Mikaela · Post by **Mikaela** » Wed Nov 02, 2005 6:54 pm

Can you swing keeping hm as a cage bird and getting a new cage and baby?

ScarletKnight · Post by **ScarletKnight** » Wed Nov 02, 2005 7:05 pm

msg me with ure specifics i wil get you straight. i can post how i gonna work with my irn but it more step by step so jsut msg me give ure vitals as in how old the irn is what u need to do, do u knwo the fav treat etcs and i will give ua regiment and i bet you will be amazed at ure self. ciao
scarlet

Jade · Post by **Jade** » Wed Nov 02, 2005 8:12 pm

Jen, sweetheart, you are not a failure. If you can, keep Byndi as a cage bird and just show him heaps of kindness. Maybe after several months of you not touching him, will make him at least tolerate your attention.

I believe though that you should get a young IRN and train him/her first before any other bugger has a chance to mess with its head and make it psycho.

Lots of love and best wishes.

Carly · Post by **Carly** » Wed Nov 02, 2005 9:30 pm

The description you have of byndi in your first post is SO much like my first ringneck..

I was working part time at a vet and a green IRN was handed in, it had been rescued out of someone's swimming pool. After a few weeks of TLC the vet let me take it home. I was hoping it was a baby but because I knew nothing about its history I really didnt know if it was an adult female or just a young one. I perservered with that bird for months, trying to tame her, but it was just no use. She was scared of people, she HATED being touched, and despite my best efforts I couldnt get anywhere with her.

Eventually I decided enough was enough, but like you I was so attached to her it was breaking my heart to see her so unhappy. I bought her a mate, put her in an avairy and she proved to be the best mummy bird I've ever had. She was finally happy, and I kept her first born as a pet who I still have today.

I know it's hard, and I hope you can work out a way to keep byndi without putting both of you through such heartache.

Post by **Datsun and Family** » Wed Nov 02, 2005 9:31 pm

Jen, I too think if you have the space keep him in a large cage or even outdoor aviary (only needs to be a small one) and in time he may change. But dont give up, get a baby, even if not an IRN and love him and hold him and treat him as you would a child.

Google, given you think your IRN is nasty I highly recommend you not get another bird. You must work with your girl daily and for hours, they are birds that require a lot of time and DAILY handling in order to stay tame.

All my love Jen, hang in there :cry:

you have so many friends and all we can offer is our words and cyber hugs.

((hugs))

baby_bella · Post by **baby_bella** » Wed Nov 02, 2005 11:27 pm

awwww jen! dont worry! you should breed her like the others said! you could have one of her babies!

i know it would be hard and you want the love and cuddles, maybe consider another birdie from an irn, like a sunny, ekkie, or 'too etc, there all cuddlely but a little bit more expensive.

hang in there girl she may be happy as a cage/avairy bird...

big hugs

Mikaela · Post by **Mikaela** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 4:43 am

It comes down to this... HE is not happy there. YOU are not happy, obviously.

If he is a breeder bird he will have it made. His only job is to get chicks knocked up. Most guys here would apply for that in a heartbeat hehe.

You arent tying him to a tree, you are finding him a place he is happier, which obviously consists of somewhere you arent trying to touch him.

So, wouldnt keeping him, when you know nothing is going to change, be more of an injustice to both of you? We are on the outside looking in so we can see things clearer. If it bothers you to get rid of him, keep him as a cage bird... feed him, talk to him and leave him alone, other than working with him when he will allow it. Oh wait, that is never. :cry:

Then, go get you a baby IRN and MAYBE through him seeing your interaction with the baby he will see you are awesome!

It is all about the bird. If god has blessed you to be able to get a baby and another cage, I would do that. Then you will have a baby with potential AND no guilt about saying bye bye to Byndi. That, ultimately would be what I would like to see come into fruition.

Post by **kyria** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 5:10 am

Jen , everyone else has dealt with IRN alot longer than I have so I couldn't give you any helpful advice on this, but I am watching this thread everyday and praying that you find a good resolve for both you and your Bird. Hang in there darlin, things will work out. Luv ya!

Andrea (Angie)

Neokireina · Post by **Neokireina** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 6:13 am

You can keep Byndi and get a new baby if you dont want to get rid of him, having another baby might even help with Byndi. But make sure you do get the love you crave from a bird that will love you. But dont feel bad selling him to a breeder if you do want to not have him, He will be happier with other birds because he was raised that way.

Be REALLY careful when buying a new Ringneck. This may sound bad but ONLY buy hand raised babies. Ask LOADS of questions, visit the breeder and ask some more questions, get them to show you their nursery. Ask them about their process. Some breeders only feed them and thats it, no playing with them or spending time with them, these birds arent wild but arent the tamest they could be.

I talk to the breeders I get my birds from and as SOON as the baby has fledged it's too late. You need to take them from the parents at about 3-4 weeks old not much later, I took Kiva and Growls at this age and they didnt need a brooder and were fed three times a day.

I took a bird a little older than Growls and Swift when I was going to get them, This bird refused to eat because it was used to it's parents by then, it was too late even then and it wasnt even fledged. So I took the bird back.

Now buying unweaned birds is a bad thing but in the case of the IRN it's the best way if you are willing to ask questions and do the work.(and I think after all the hard work you put in with Byndi a little hand feeding wont hurt at all)
I dont condone buying unweaned birds from pet shops, but If you have a trustworthy breeder to show you and is willing to let you keep asking even after you own the bird it's the best option.

I have ZERO problems with my babies. No biting, No screaming, They fly to me and they are wonderful pets.

jen5239 · Post by **jen5239** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 6:14 am

You guys are soooooooooooooooo AWESOME! I was so afraid to post that cuz I thought I would be hated and dubbed a failure who isn't trying. It took all I had to post that. But I'm so at a loss and feel like I'm going to ruin this bird. I have shed more tears over this bird than I have in a very long time. It really is breaking my heart. But the love and support you all have shown me really helps! I thank you all with every fiber of my being. I'm at work so I must stop, cuz I'm tearing up again. And people where I work are not animal people and JUST DON'T understand. I love each and everyone of you for your support and caring. You guys are the best. I would give you each hugs if I could. So all of you consider yourself hugged.

Much Love and Hugs to all,
Jen

Mikaela · Post by **Mikaela** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 7:06 am

jen5239 wrote:You guys are soooooooooooooooo AWESOME! I was so afraid to post that cuz I thought I would be hated and dubbed a failure who isn't trying. It took all I had to post that. But I'm so at a loss and feel like I'm going to ruin this bird. I have shed more tears over this bird than I have in a very long time. It really is breaking my heart. But the love and support you all have shown me really helps! I thank you all with every fiber of my being. I'm at work so I must stop, cuz I'm tearing up again. And people where I work are not animal people and JUST DON'T understand. I love each and everyone of you for your support and caring. You guys are the best. I would give you each hugs if I could. So all of you consider yourself hugged.

Much Love and Hugs to all,
Jen

Truth is, the bird was already ruined before you got him. I cannot stress this enough, when it comes to a ringneck buy/adopt young or walk away.

There are cases where it works out but NEVER FORGET: One must ask themselves, why would ANYONE want to get rid of such a precious creature. In my case, it was because Peek-a-Boo screamed from the minute her eyes opened until the vodka kicked in (kidding but I was close to trying it ) And to this day, she is a pure headcase. She is scared of her own shadow and never lives a single second of solitude and never will.

Jade · Post by **Jade** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 6:51 pm

I think you also have to keep in perspective, that some birds are just psycho. Like people. Some wire in their brain might not be right and they are just nuts. Dogs can be that way too. Think of all the dogs deemed 'unsuitable' by the pound, they get put to sleep. You only get the dogs that passed the test, available to buy at the pound. I know you got your puppies from the pound, but the pound would never have let you have them if there were genuine problems with your intended pets. Unfortunately not all bird breeders hold the same standards as the pound and consider that money is money.

enmitygauged · Post by **enmitygauged** » Sat Nov 05, 2005 5:06 am

I am very new to The IRN breed I have a teal coloured 10 week old my father hand raised with some lutino's. The bird was perfect from the moment I held him. After the 3 hr trip in the car things changed he was very aggresive I have 19 holes in my hand from the week after that. But I was instructed to take the bites. And what do you know 2 weeks later he is fine after 10 mins of handling he may take a swipe at a nail but otherwise he is fine. I have read on another forum to firmly hold their bottom beak when they bite I havent tried this but thought I would ask my Dad before trying. He is a great flyer as I have only clipped his inner feathers just so he can have some time around but not too much. My Father has 5 Lutino's at the moment in SA and some Ekkies as well as some other Aussie natives. If any one is local and would like to see pics just let me know.

Neokireina · Post by **Neokireina** » Sat Nov 05, 2005 7:02 am

I hold the top of the beak and they get annoyed at you holding them and let go, the bottom part would be a little hard to hold dont you think?

*mia* · Post by ***mia*** » Sat Nov 05, 2005 9:00 am

When I got Kalle had is owner before me had have him in the cage and never let him out because they where so afraid of him. In the begining he was afraid for my hands and i could almost not give himfood whitout him getting ceazy. but he never bite me, just when I had to catch him too put him in a smaller cage so I could take him home.. Now Kalle sit on my shoulder and sometimes i can scratch his neck, and he goes up and down on my hand when I say him to do that..
He his born in 2002. so sometimes it can work whit older birds. But he doesn´t speak, do you guys think he can begin to do that or is he to old? I learn him to go up and down by having him on a stick and then I made the stick shorter and shorter..

Mikaela · Post by **Mikaela** » Sat Nov 05, 2005 12:05 pm

Its never too late. He was probably never spoken too much, thereby not picking anything up.

Im sure you are a good parront and talk to him often so give it time, he'll spurt something out one day.

Dani03 · Post by **Dani03** » Mon Nov 07, 2005 10:25 am

Jen I am so sorry about Byndi :cry:

. I've been gone a while and just got back to the board. I agree with everything that has been posted. Byndi just may have to be a cage bird. It may seem like a sad life but it is for the best. Or get him to a person who knows how to handle that kind of bird and start over with a true baby this time. I really really hate breeders who lie about birds...it puts birds into homes that really don't have what it takes to deal with an older bird. What ever you decide (barring wild releasing him) I am in total support of.

Hugz from Prinny and I

Dani and Prinny

jen5239 · Post by **jen5239** » Mon Nov 07, 2005 10:42 am

Thanks Dani,
I think we might be just going to keep him and get a baby this weekend. We really don't have room for three birds, but I don't want anything bad to happen to him. If I could find a breeder that would take him for a breeder bird I'd consider doing that. But I would never want anything bad to happen to him nor would I ever consider tossing him out the door. Thanks for all your support. All of you! We really appreciate and need it! You guys are the best.

Hugs,
Jen

IndianRingNeck.com

I'm DONE--I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE

I'm DONE--I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE

sob

jen

New to IRN

Aww