Hi Sarah,
Maybe your IRN is not a cuddley bird. I have a Lutino and she is quite happy to sit on me, fly to me, hang off me and make sure she is near me if she can see me, but she is not into pats. I can pat her but only on her terms and when she wants to be petted. Then it is usually a quick pat or two!
My other IRN I handraised are the opposite, wanted lots of cuddles. I raised all my birds the same way, just different personalities.
As he/she sits on your that is a start.

Maybe try with treats or fav toy and just play with him/her without forcing pats. With time you could "accidently"

try just brushing him/her with your finger/hand and let your bird (whats his/her name anyway?:)) feel your touch without the pressure of being patted. Then gradually touch and stroke a little more and for longer. Maybe over time you will be allowed to pet.
Good luck and let us know how things go
