I'm convinced my IRN hates me.

Skye's Mom · Post by **Skye's Mom** » Mon Jul 16, 2007 1:09 pm

Hi Everyone-
I'm still having a hard time with Skye. He still won't let me near him without lunging, hissing, etc., but now he has taken to backing away from me.

We let him out of the cage every day, he'll climb up on top to have some play time, but when ever I approach he scrurries to the other side of the cage. If I get close at all he turns on me. It breaks my heart. I love him so much and he won't even let me near him.

He's not nearly as bad with my husband. He even allows my husband several minutes of touching before he bites.

The only time he lets me near is when I give him his spritz with a spray bottle. He loves it! If I approach the cage with the water bottle he hurries over to the edge. He turns for me to get all sides, takes several drinks, then turns again. But if I go to pet him afterwards, off he goes.

Any suggestions? Has he chosen my husband as his person of choice?

Thanks :cry:

Donna · Post by **Donna** » Mon Jul 16, 2007 1:29 pm

He doesn't hate you, birds don't have the ability to hate, even very abused birds don't hate, They fear things like hands and new surroundings but that's all it is fear. Have you just tried sitting by his cage while he is playing on top of it? Curiosity always gets a ringneck they can't stand not knowing what your doing. This is a trust issue and maybe he sense's your body language is more threatening then your husbands. Just try ignoring him and sit close and read a book or something pretty soon he'll venture down to see what your doing. When he does don't make any sudden moves just let him investigate.

Donna

Skye's Mom · Post by **Skye's Mom** » Mon Jul 16, 2007 1:32 pm

I talk to him every time I pass the cage, and my recliner is right next to the cage, so were are in each other's presence all the time (when I'm home). My husband is home all day, so I wasn't sure if that alone is what makes Skye more comfortable with him.

I'm the one that feeds him, bathes him, changes the water and the paper, but he seems to like the big lug more.

Petey · Post by **Petey** » Mon Jul 16, 2007 1:37 pm

You and hubby are home all day

""""""""""I'm the one that feeds him, bathes him, changes the water and the paper, but he seems to like the big lug more."""""""""""""

So, reverse the role--let your hubby do all the work and your bird might reverse the way he feels and like you.

Post by **kyria** » Mon Jul 16, 2007 2:48 pm

Sit together with your husband. If he is the one that can step the bird up to be with him, then go onto a sofa and sit together. My birds climb from hubby to me all the time, some days its hubby they want others its me. We watch tv and have playtime with them together. Mind you if we try to kiss Jordan will come and push his beak between our lips and growl.. lol .. its so cute.

alana8819 · Post by **alana8819** » Mon Jul 16, 2007 3:53 pm

cookie favours me over my partner because as i study from home i am with him everyday and we have a special bond. cookie wouldn't let my partner near him but after a while he warmed up to him.

Post by **Lauren** » Mon Jul 16, 2007 5:54 pm

As Donna said. Birds don't hate. They fear. Don't take things too personally with them. They will go through stages of 'hot' and 'cold' with you. Sometimes they will just like someone more. But it can change!
Petey had a good idea. Reverse the roles? (Cleaning, baths etc.) Also, the way to a birds heart is really through food. lol. Keep offering food but only give when Skye gives. Don't take Skyes mood around you too personally. He probably fears you more. Try just sitting, talking to him and offering food. Show Skye your not just the cleaner.

My Jibby is all mine during the day (less during breeding season) but at bedtime he will only talk to my partner. When I say 'night night' he growls at me like he just wants to sleep! But if my partner says 'night night' he will start chattering away to him and acting all cute! :roll:

I've also noticed as I'm here all day (student from home too) he sometimes just isnt that interested in me because hes been with me the whole day. But when my partner gets home from work he gets excited. Thats his time! Yoda on the other hand likes me more and is still scared of my partner. I keep telling my partner he needs to just sit and spend time with Yoda more and maybe Yoda wont fly away from him as soon as he moves!

Petey · Post by **Petey** » Tue Jul 17, 2007 10:46 am

Basic personality of parrots.....

A person might be the caretaker of a bird and because of that, the person feels that the parrot should recognise that the person doing all the workis the one to be given special treatment from the bird. Yes, that's true for us in the human world but look at it from the parrot's perspective...Many things that we do when taking care of the parrot do make the parrot jumpy, leery and suspisious of the caretaker. Of course, we don't realize that. After all, the parrot is being given all he/she wants including toys and treats and freedom. Parrots remember certain things that happen each time with the care taker. In situations like this, an strong effort should be made to *socialize* the parrot into the habits of others in the house. Although is may be strenuose, a person who has no involvement in the same actions of the main care taker, that bird might very well favor the person who only has good reactions and gives pleasent treatment.

In the human experience---A little boy or girl is constantly naughty. Mom is the one that applies dissapline and constructive conversation to that child. She's the main care taker and cares that the child get on the right path. After all, mom loves the child. SO, in the evening, dad comes home and the child knows that daddy won't raise a stink about the naughtyness that went on during the day.Daddy feels that the problem has been taken care of by mommy, so he doesn't get involved Think about it..who will that child favor?? Mommy will be dissapointed that daddy didn't continue the scolding. Mommy wants to make sure that the child knows that what happened is frowned upon by daddy.

If there are members in the family that will also have continuous contact with the parrot, they too should be involved in chores that have to do with the parrot. That way, the parrot knows that what's happening is done by everyone and realizes that favortism doesn't work very well.

I'm sure you'll have a better relationship with your parrot as long as he/she knows that everyone is equal in the house.

What's going on with your parrot is one of the most common things that occur in the parrot world and the only difference is with people who let that happen with larger parrots. The bigger the parrot, the bigger the attitude and the bigger and more serious the bite.

Post by **kyria** » Tue Jul 17, 2007 3:20 pm

Nice thoughts and analogy petey

Good idea to get others involved in the cleaning too, to make it a normal thing that everyone does.

But i think mummy can be the caretaker and the lover, then woohoo , mummy might tell me off but, mummy cleans my room, gives me treats , when I am ill she makes me well and cuddles me.

If this is what is happening, the caretaker senario, you could take another tact and change it to where you still are the caretaker but its fun for the fids. Mine love cage cleaning time, they get fresh food, treats and a nice spray bath, they get a new setup in their cage and while I am in there, i whistle and sing, talk and play with them. It didn't start this way, they were scared at first, but now its fun, exciting play time.