My bird doesn't like me.

[Guest]

I really wanted a bird so my husband let me pick one out for Christmas. I chose a blue IRN who is now about 8 months old. He steps up on my finger usually, but at random times he'll bite me-hard. Also, he doesn't like to stay on me once I take him out of his cage. He usually just wants me to get him out and put him on his play perch.

I am the one who gives him the most attention and I feed him and give him treats. But for some reason he LOVES my husband. He does this really, really strange thing whenever he sees him. He tilts his head back, slits his eyes, and starts clucking like a chicken. At least that's what it sounds like to me. He does this almost every time he sees my husband, and I never see him do it besides then. He also lets my husband pet him on his back, on his chest, on his head, basically everywhere.

My question is, why is it that birds like some people and not others? Does it have anything to do with the bird's sex? Do females like human males better, or something like that? I don't know my bird's sex yet (I just say "he") but I just wondered if this would have anything to do with it.

Anyway, I love this message board and look forward to visiting in the future. My bird's name is Alfie, and I adore him even if he doesn't like me very much.



Lindsey

[Jodie]

Hi,
Well, it sounds like you have to win over Alfie. From your description of the tilting of the head and such it sounds like Alfie is a girl. I am a female and a few of my hens do the same thing when I talk to them. I don't think that behavior is gender specific. I do not believe ringnecks are normally a gender specific bird. My advice is to stick with your game plan. With time, Alfie will come around and adore you. I would suggest getting a glove that looks like you hand, so when Alfie bites, it does not hurt as bad. You have to continually handle Alfie. At eight months, Alfie could be going through the rebellion stage. There is another subject topic with advice for that. I constantly have to remind myself who is in charge (which is me)! It is good that your husband can handle your bird, I would not discourage this. Perhaps maybe only your husband can pet your bird for now. Take it day by day. But try day by day. I sense you are hurt because Alfie is your baby. I had a situation where I was gone for a while. When I returned my bird did step up, but bit me hard. He was being taken care of by my boyfriend who had no problems handling him while I was gone. I cried, because I knew my bird was saying where have you been. It took me a while to regain the birds trust. It really hurt my feelings that my bird took to my boyfriend and turn its back on me. Anyways, I hope this helps!

[ringneck]

Hello Lindsey,

Yep, Jodie is right. By the sounds of it you seem to have a female Ringneck. Females tilt their heads back and "cluck like a chicken." If you take a closer look you'll notice the eye pin as well.

Female Ringnecks tend to form a stronger bond than males in my experience. Male Ringnecks might have the looks; however, they can get nippy if not held daily. Why? I don’t know. I might have something to do with their bonding characteristics.

Jodie is right, just continue to treat and play with your female Ringneck. My female Ringneck has bonded to my brother and I. She will not let anyone, and I MEAN ANYONE touch her but us.


Jodie -

I know that feeling. My grandpa got ill and I had to go out of town. When I came back my Ringneck just stepped up and was really nippy. I too took it very personal. Just thought I might share that with you! It's not fun when you spend that much time with your bird and they give you the cold shoulder. My Ringneck was handfed as well. Ringnecks need constant attention to maintain tame.

[daisy chain]

I agree

[Daisy chain]

I also have a female ringneck. She is approximately 2 years old. She was handraised. I got her when she was very young and she and I bonded immediately. Everything was fine until one day she just did a complete turn around. She does not like me at all. My son can hold her and kiss her and rub her all over and she just loves it. I do everything for her, keep her clean, give her treats, let her out. I taught her to talk. Which she does very well, but she just won't let me handle her. I have come to accept it, but it is very frustrating.. I can completely relate.

[Guest]

Thanks everyone, for your help. Well, maybe Alfie doesn't like me because she's a girl and I named her 'Alfie'. Oh well, it could be a girl's name I guess.

Anyway, I'll keep on handling her and hopefully she'll come around. Sometimes she steps up with no problem, but sometimes she decides it would be more fun to bite me. I never know what mood she's in. I'm glad that she likes my husband though. I think he feels bad for me because it's my bird, but I tell him to keep handling her. I think it's adorable how she acts with him.

I did read that females tend to talk just as much as males do. I believe she is definately learning how. She does this thing where it doesn't quite sound like a word, but it's close to "Hello." She does it a lot, but mostly when I have music playing for her.

So I'm excited about teaching her to talk, and if she never lets me pet her, I'll be happy just to have her sit on my finger without biting me.

Thanks everyone, again. I'll be hanging around here.

Lindsey

[fred.e]

Something I've learnt from this site and taught my wife is how you react when your IRN lunges towards your hand, or bites or when the eyes pin..

I did a couple of things which I got from this site...

1. Persist and not react and keep saying 'up' or 'hello austin' in a cheery voice.
2. Persist I did that a lot - even if the bite hurt, I'd go back and try again...
3. Had a piece of food or treat in the other hand to distract Austin which sometimes worked - but there was success
4. Show him the piece of food then walk away pretending I'm eating it, then come back and say 'up' again - again persistence.... & plenty of patience...

Then all of a sudden he now comes to the edge of the cage to see me...
I put him on my shoulder when I clean the cage or prepare his food (he's on my shoulder now

One thing I found, areas of sensitivity like his beak or near his feet/wing he used to be very touchy.. I would play with his beak and he would attack, I wouldn't respond and with a happy voice say "Hello Austin", now I can play with his beak (gently - hard to describe) and go to his wing and rub and he doesn't attack. He used to freak when the chairs would drag on the floor and he would get scared, so I purposely dragged them until he got comfortable with the sound and he learnt that it wasn't a threat - now he doesn't twitch... I hope this helps.. sorry if I carried on

Cheers, Fred.e

[ringneck]

Right on the Money!

I.C.

[Candace]

I have a male and he is forsure male.because he is getting his dark ring on his neck.he just loves my hubby and not me allso he puts his head back closses his eyes and gos do do do do very fast as if he is saying how do you do repeadedlythen he gos coo coo.so its like do do do do coo coo.over and over while we pet him he is in a tranc.

[Caruso]

my IRN Caruso does that too! All I have to do is look at her and she starts it.
The Big Baby

[RubyTuesday]

I just adopted a 1 and a half yr old Lutino... his previous owner gave him away because he found out he was a boy .. but he clucks like a chicken, too... does this mean he really is a girl??? He's completely yellow w/ a red ring around his neck and eyes.

[skibum]

red ring means a boy
In terms of petting, my Max hates it which is bizarre cos he used to love being stroked around the beak and scratched around his cheeks.
Ever since I have actually been physically holding him he has changed completely and tries to get away at every opportunity
Is not quite a year old so hopefully the moody period - plus it is spring here

[Mikaela]

I remember the feeling that my Baby didnt love me. I felt so defeated, was trying so hard to earn her trust. Thing was, I was trying TOO hard, thereby not allowing her to show a need for me. I took it personally and thought she would never love me and would always be mean. She is still mean but now knows all mean gets her is dirty looks and if bad enough a time out. She recipricates the evil looks as she sets in time-out all puffed up with her attitude. (Baby, Peek is always sweet so she has never gotten time out.)

Then one day, I made up my mind that I was going to back off... give her a chance to miss me. It was that day I learned I was pushing myself on her. From that day forward I simply walk by her cage and just say Morning Baby, Morning Boo and then go about my business. I wait for them to try to get to me. Then, I open the cage and allow them to step up and I put them on their condo and do my morning routine. I have to now ignore them after I put them on the condo or Peek will not let me have any peace until I pick her up and carry her around as I try to get four boys ready for school.

Keep loving and handling your beautiful boy but give him a chance to want you. It will all be worth it one day when, on sight, he gets all happy to see you and clings to the cage waiting to jump onto his Mommie. I know it is hard to believe now but keep up the good work and that day will come. I promise.

[RubyTuesday]

Mikaela, you're filled with such great advice! Everyone for that matter!

I think I ought to back off from Ruby for a while, and give him some space. Thought lately he's been decidedly content riding on my shoulder the past few days. I took him down to do some laundry last night and stayed perfectly put, and didn't try to fly off for anything!

[Mikaela]

Well thank you

If he misses you a bit, the time he has with you will be even more enjoyable! It is hard for me to stay away from my babies too but I had to out of fear of creating a screamer when I was too busy.