My bird hates me?

[Lady-E]

Yes I know this is a very common misinterpretation of parrots behavior towards us but I'm worried about it and don't know really what to do(or what I did wrong). He lives with my bf so he spends more time with him but just slightly more than me, I'm always there when he is only difference is he spends 1-2 mornings with him more than me and that's all. I'll try to describe this best I can in hope someone has constructive suggestion on what can I do to change his behavior. So my IRN is a hand reared lutino around 6 months old according to breeder. Since 2nd day in our home he's a very loving and tamed bird. He loves to cuddle, he will always step on our hands, be on our shoulders around house, he hates to be alone and will scream as soon as we leave the room, if he's out of cage he would fly to the one of us who's leaving the room. But since last few days he doesn't let me touch him, meaning he can't stand my fingers near him! When it comes to my bf he's all loving and cuddling with him,demanding cuddles himself but as soon as I approach my hand he will attack it! Regardless on that he will fly to me, be on my shoulder, step on my hand when I offer it but as soon as I go for his head to cuddle him his eyes pin (in mean way) and he's in attack mode! So I searched in my mind what could have changed and there are few things-he hates nail polish, he used to attack my fingers before when I wear nail polish so I took it of and he was back to normal but now taking it of changed nothing. Another thing is my bf changed his behavior towards him recently after he was fooling around with bath time, so he bathed him on force in sink...I didn't like it and asked him not to do it but he was stressed out of all the fooling around. Then he started trying to get him on his back by trapping him in his hands an he would try to free himself by biting and screaming ofc and then ran to me. Then culmination of those events was when he put in his cage ball that he's very scared of to punish him for being naughty he started jumping in cage like crazy and screaming, I said to take it out as he might get hurt, may hurt his wings or legs and he did(it lasted for maybe 10 seconds only)...I don't support any of this but he wouldn't listen until now that it's affecting the bird in bad way. But my question is why does a bird then hate ME but not HIM?! I did absolutely nothing to him all this time, I give him fresh veggies and fruits every day, clean his cage, offer him bath in a bowl that he really likes instead of forcing him to bath but he hates me now! He got so mean today that stressed me now over the line that I said ok-"you like being tied down, now I'll tie you down too,see how you like it" but I didn't hold him more than 3 seconds before he bit me really hard and to get him of I instinctively throw him away so he hit cage bars(it was all while he was in cage). I felt bad for this as I didn't mean to throw him away for sure but my hormones were running crazy too at a time in a minute I was angry, next minute I almost cried for it...the woman will understand the feeling lol so a bit later my bf took him out of his cage, and a bit later he flew to me in a kitchen on my shoulder. As I started talking to him he bit my lip! Not hard at all but he never did such a thing in all this time, he really never bites! And ofc later while my hand was on his toy carton box he bit my finger to blood! So my question again is why is he so mad at me but not at my bf? Our 2 fingers are one next to other and he will cuddle with his and bite mine while I did absolutely nothing to him all until today when I got really pissed of and it is still not as close as my bf's behavior towards him in past few days occasionally. I have to point out he didn't do anything hurtful either but that way of playing is accepted for a dog for example but birds clearly don't like it and I know some birds show a lot of trust to their owners to hold them in their hands in that way and turned on their back but he clearly isn't in that level of trust yet so I didn't like him doing it to him. So what do you suggest I do next? Btw bf stopped doing what he did to him and promised won't do it again as I suspected it might have somehow reflected on parrots behavior towards me. Could it be he's taking it out on me because he thinks I'm weaker or something? I'm sorry for very long post but I had to describe this situation a bit deeper as it's not just relationship between 1 person and parrot but 2 of us

[feathers]

Wow - sorry I can't help I'm new and struggling with issues too - I hope someone can help, it just sounds like jealousy to me - your bf belongs to your bird not you.

[sanjays mummi]

Animals Do Not feel "jealousy", possessive yes, jealous No.
I was horrified at how your boyfriend mishandled your bird i.e "forced " him to bath in the sink, if my late husband had handled Sanjay like that, he would have had to sleep with one eye open!.
Your bird is absolutely terrified!, that's why he is biting, you're his primary care giver, everything should come from you, they don't bathe in sinks!, he should have a bowl to splash around in, or an indirect misting with a spray bottle. Also, he should have been spending his time bonding with You, not being confused and mishandled, you are going to have to start from scratch, and not allow bf near him until You have bonded with your bird.

[Lady-E]

Well sink idea we got from youtube videos honestly, but he went into it very happy the 2nd day at our home, took a bath in sink on his own and really enjoyed it, we didn't force him to that ofc just offered it. But next time something changed, I don't know why he suddenly doesn't want to go in it...he rises his wings like he wants it but for some reason doesn't want to get down in water, I'm guessing he's afraid of something but what? Maybe depth of sink? I tried both kitchen and bathroom, same thing.Misting with spray bottles he really doesn't like but so don't my budgies too so I didn't force him on that. He really likes splashing around in his drinking water but I try to give him a bowl instead of that, only problem is he will use it happily as long as it's in the cage, if he's out he will also fly away from it. Also after that incident with sink where he was entirely washed he still went again to splash arround in his water bowl as soon as he was dried again lol
At first days when he arrived I guess he was less afraid of me so he bite me just once while my bf he did bite for few first days and then he stopped, he really never bites us anywhere and is very accustomed to both of us but like I said my bf spends slightly more time with him than I do. He gives him seed food and millet bars, I put in fresh veggies and fruit, water we both change when it's time or he puts something in it. But still I can't find valid explanation why he suddenly doesn't like me but enjoys his company lol btw my bird is too young for gender knowing ofc but I'm pretty sure it's a he, according to behavior of mating dance he performs towards some things occasionally he acts like a male not a hen but that's not for sure yet ofc. So all in all only thing I can't understand is why suddenly he likes one of us but doesn't like another. And bath issue wasn't the time he started biting me,he was pretty normal after that but most likely it started when he put a ball bird hates in his cage but still I wasn't the one who put it in so why me? lol

[Lady-E]

We have some progress already he even let me cuddle him today few times so I guess we're getting back on track he did try biting few times but not like last few days and he's spending time with me in the kitchen like usual on my shoulder preening himself lol

[AJPeter]

You need to research this site in the behaving and taming sections and learn from other people.

[Lady-E]

Yeah I'm trying to read as much as I can about them this has surprised me because I'm used to a very nice and tamed bird that he was since his first days with us...He really didn't bite at all and he loves to cuddle a lot! But for some reason he likes me in any way except for cuddling him now lol as soon as I touch him he's going all bitey, mostly warning me,trying to scare me of with his beak lol if I don't back up I get bitten pretty bad, like last night for example lol this is a first time he bit me to the blood

[sanjays mummi]

Firstly the eyes pin, the feathers on the head rise, like a dog raising it's hackles, sometimes you will get a warning hiss, just remove yourself slowly and quietly. I always say "don't bitey it's not nice", not.that I get bitten, but sometimes Sanjay just wants to be left alone.

[Lady-E]

I've read somewhere they might get bitey and moody when molting, that might be the reason? I think he's starting to molt,have his 2 longer feathers fell of in last 2-3 days, probably from wings, as tail looks full still. He's about 7 months old now I think, don't know his exact date of hatch but was I think it was around May. Anyway he's attacking only me and only in cage, outside he's normal and in cage he will take even tiniest seed from my fingers without biting but if I go to cuddle him he'll bite lol or he lets me to cuddle for a bit then tries to bite again. I'm also telling him "no, don't do that", without raising my voice and back up a bit but last night I didn't pay attention, watching at something else while my finger was on his cage and he bite me badly for first time

[sanjays mummi]

Ah!, sounds like he is territorial!, moulting shouldn't affect his mood, but he is definitely showing signs of being territorial, Sanjay isn't so bad now, but there was a time I couldn't put my hand inside his cage unless he was out of it. You should be pleased, because he loves his little home.

[Lady-E]

I thought that might be a reason too but he's really sending mixed messages lol since he doesn't lash out on my bf's hand lol and until recently he loved cuddles inside cage, look at this cuteness I filmed just recently and now he's nowhere close to this lol
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMLU_1hNLU4

[sanjays mummi]

You have a female, the crouching and clucking is female behaviour. If you've read my old threads you will know "Sanjay" is also a little hen, the breeder lied to me said "he" was definitely a DNA sexed male, but time proved otherwise, I get this crouching and clucking every day, (btw, I kept my username etc, but "his" actual name is Sweetie).
I was disappointed at first because I had been really looking forward to the coloured collar, but he is seven now, and I love him to bits.
When my bird started displaying this, it was to daddi, but then began displaying to me too. It doesn't last for long, and "he" soon tells me he's had enough.

[Lady-E]

Again my bird is sending mixed messages lol he/she does mating dance of a male and doesn't do the right-left side head move when cuddling but if it's a female my bf would be so happy he's looking forward that this is a female so that we can get a blue male to her lol and I'm looking forward to see the rose-red ring around his neck lol anyway what made me think it's a male because he finds some object, first time it was a bottle of coke, and he dances around it, making heart shape with his wing and also usually does some head bobbing later. And in cuddles never moves head left and right like hen but does cluck down like one so I'm very confused now lol
P.S. he started cuddling with me first, later with my bf too, now doesn't really like me cuddling him lol

[sanjays mummi]

How old is the bird?, the female display started when my bird was approx three years old, males get their collar at approx 18 months. Females Do Not move their head from side to side, maybe to one side only, or back. I have had heart shaped wings too, but at seven years old, there is no longer any doubt as to my birds gender.
Fortunately I don't get egg laying, the cages I've had are not conducive to nesting. As this really takes a toll on their health (see AJ Peters posts).
Before breeding, I hope your bf researches a demand for IRN's, or he may find he cannot sell them, and end up with too many.

[Lady-E]

He/she is 7 months old according to the breeder, my guess is it was hatched somewhere around May last year,don't know exact date though. I'm not looking forward to breeding them either and wouldn't like a hen to lay eggs anyway. I've read lots about this for ither parrot species and I'm not up for it from my point of view. I'd rather have 2 males,lutino and blue instead of male and female. I've been looking some other IRN's on youtube how they cuddle and hens usually do have that specific move that mine doesn't show (yet) but who knows, could find out maybe where DNA testing can be done but doesn't change anything for us really,we love the bird anyway. Only thing I like more at males is the ring and the fact they can't lay eggs lol I have 2 budgies male and female and they never breed nor did she ever had eggs so I like that situation more than breeding birds...it takes a lot of dedication and time in order to have healthy parents and chicksters. Other signs I could catch up with others saying that point to a male are more screaming than female and more activity. At this point he's really extra loud and hiper active lol but again I know none of this is a sure proof of anything.
P.S. Found a video example of the head movement I mentioned: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQ5DDjWoDVM
I saw hens always do this along with this wings thing too, mine never does this but does make sound like this hen

[sanjays mummi]

Personally, I believe your bird must be at least 2 yrs old, because a 7 month hen would not display, mine didn't at that age.
I am bound to wonder if your bf was lied to?

[Lady-E]

I think he/she can't ve more than 7 months old,even younger according to breedee but I saw post on their facebook profile when they were babies from May so I made conclusion he's in that group of chicks. Lutinos are very hard to find here and tamed ones almost impossible which is why we searched for it for months and found 1 in a neighbor country finally. They sell as they appear here and people make reservations with breeders as soon as possible,it's hard to find one without having reservation so that's why I don't believe 1 could have been left unsold at young age. Plus we got pics of him few days before he arrived and compared to now he looks younger visualy:
https://s27.postimg.org/70fmnbhkz/downl ... 230316.jpg
This is a pic of him at his beeder a week or so before we got him, he looks quite young to me here. And on pics I took of him in his first days with us compared to now his feathers look much healthier and brighter now,he's larger than at that time,his beak isn't so pale anymore and his wing feathers look a lot better now. I keep saying "him" lol I might check DNA to know the truth finally

[sanjays mummi]

I don't have the link, but there is a video on YouTube of IRN's mating, (just type IRN's mating in the search bar) and see what the hen is doing whilst the male is doing his little dance.
I couldn't download your pic unfortunately, a DNA would be a good idea, if you can get your bf to pluck a feather (ouch!), Sanjay had a feather missing from his breast to make it look convincing.
You can expect green from a yellow/blue mating, according to a book I have, Sanjay is green, but very beautiful all the same, with quite a bit of yellow on him.
I shall be interested in the result.

[Lady-E]

Yeah I saw a video of lutino and blue mating,saw how they acted but that adds more confusion only lol my little one will cluck down when we cuddle him but will do the dance to the things he likes-his toy, bottle, foot lol even peanut shell lol and I saw yesterday lutino male with ring in half formed cuddles in same way! Who knows with them anymore. I read someone mentioned theirs started dancing to a hen on a video...mine went crazy towards both male and female birds lol he started attacking the phone and bit my bf too for the first time this hard! Also saw somewhere mentioned orange circle around eyes that young birds don't have and those thst do are 6+ months old...I noticed this orange recently and thought he had his eyes irritated somehow than I saw it's normal thing fir them and thought I just didn't notice that before. Now I checked his older pics and he really didn't have that orange circle but now he does, guess my estimate of his age was pretty much correct if that thing is true about orange circle as sign

[sanjays mummi]

Sanjay had orange eyes at 8 Weeks old when I got him!.

[Lady-E]

Somewhere on this forum I read about signs about the age of a bird, someone said rules don't apply on lutino's and albino's, but anyway I have pics of this little one from his first days with us until now quite often, he didn't have that orange around his eyes in any pic until very last ones he/she's sending very mixed messages again lol today I thought yeah this is a she for sure the way it was cuddling, than later display starts again, his sweet dance, eye pinning and heart shaped wings...I have no idea what this bird will turn out to be! lol I've tried searching where can I do DNA testing here but haven't found it yet,hardly anyone does that here