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We think Tobys first re home was becasue the guy that had Toby got a new gf and Toby didnt like that too much, Toby was rehomed to a young girl who was about 10 or 11 and then she sold him to us.

Everytime Sharlene goes near Toby all he wants to do is bite but will go to Adam while bluffing but gets over it very quickly. This is upsetting Sharlene as she wants to hold Toby too and play with him aswell, she cant feed him or put her hand near him at all.

What can we do to help Toby and Sharlene bond together without Toby biting and Sharlene getting upset bout it. Amazon still goes to Sharlene.

Sounds like Toby has had a tough time. Bonding takes some time. They have to learn to trust before bonding. Get Sharlene to spend some time each day, talking and just sitting by Toby without touching.
Once Toby is calm with her around, start holding an arm out to see if Toby will step up. Patience.
Remember not to react when he bites. They want any reaction. If you dont react they dont see the point in biting. This is hard to do, an IRN bite is not pleasant. I sometimes can help but to scream OUCH! But if you can dont react and walk away.

does this mean i need to let him bite me even though when he does is taking skin and making me bleed

Whenever he bites just calmly walk away (maybe into another room and then scream your guts out ) Im trying to do this with my Gilbert.

Try to read the birds body language. Sometimes you can tell a few seconds before they bite so you can step back. eg, pinning eyes, puffed up head, growling.

Gilbert bites but I havnt been biten in a while. Its all part of being owned by an IRN!

ok tehn i will give it a try, Amazon never bite me and still hasnt hopefully he wont learn that habit from Toby

Toby just gave Sharlene another doozy of a bite.

i think she is about to give up bonding with him all together. he is very tempremental with her, sometimes he will sit happily, others it's all on.

Give it some time. They dont usually just bond with someone. It takes some time and patience.

You may just be moving to fast for him, Don't attempt to touch him let him make the decision to interact physically. Play non touching games with him like the blink game and peek a boo. Sit quietly and if possible find his favorite treat and only let Sharlene offer it and not put it at him, but hold it so he has to decide to come and get it. When he's ready he will initiate the physical contact. Have you got any books that go through all the things you can do to be non threatening to a parrot? I think they differentiate between a scared threatened bird and different behavior for an agressive bird. Which do you think he is with Sharlene, frightened or agressive?

However I must say my first parrot was a Senegal, Pepper, who drew blood on me every chance he got. I backed off and let him decide when he wanted to interact and he would calmly come over to me and bite me
he would yell ouch and he would laugh and walk away. I still have to laugh at his attitude. I finally had to find him a home with someone he decided he liked. I tried for about 1 1/2 years but he never warmed up.

So here's hoping it works out for you, and if not, I am sure he will be just as fun to watch and enjoy, just not for Sharlene to touch.

It may also help to have something else to divert him. If you have a pen, toy, etc that you can smoothly put between that beak and you, it may save a bit of blood. Hang in there -- you are doing great!