HELP!!!! Jealous bird
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HELP!!!! Jealous bird
Ok I don't know if anyone else has experienced this but I'm at my wits end now. My ringneck has become extremely jealous of me...to the point that she tries to attack me. She has bonded unbelievably with my husband although technically she is my bird. I feed her, clean her cage, play with her, sing to her and did all the research about parrots. My husband used to travel a lot before and it wasn't much of a problem but now he's been home for more than a month and she is 'infatuated' with him. She makes all kinds of lovey dovey sounds when she sees him and cries for him to hold her and play with her. She even lets him rub her tummy and touch her feet. If I did that she would for sure bite me. Yesterday i was sitting next to him on the sofa and she was on his lap and she came running over to me and poked me with her beak so I would get up. She literally chased me away. Today, I sat on the other sofa and she came running over again, climbed onto my lap, had this wild look in her eyes and jumped right onto my chest. I got such a fright I actually screamed. We both find the situation quite funny actually but I'm really scared that she might just visciously attack me. I'm pregnant too at the moment so this is really not a good thing. Any ideas on how to handle the situation?
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Mikaela
- Posts: 3752
- Joined: Thu Jul 07, 2005 5:12 am
- Location: Islamorada Key, Florida U.S.A.
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Oh Selma:
Bless your heart. This happens among ringnecks. They tend to take to one person and one person only. It SUCKS when the person they prefer is not their primary care giver.
If you'll remember back, she use to be sad when he was away. Remember I asked you to hold the phone near her while he was on speaker phone and see if she responded. She did and perked right up. So, I think she has always had the hots for him, he just wasnt there as often.
I have heard of this and I know the pain you must feel. Betrayal even. I am so sorry. Just know it isnt anything you did. It is a very unfair thing.
I dont know of any techniques to make an IRN accept another. I would, because they are a sucker for food, try to woo him that way. My cat abandoned me for my husband. They have a cute relationship but she could care less about me. I know how that felt. I imagine, because of the amount of time we spend on an IRN, it is 10 times worse.
Again, I am sorry he chose another. Please know it isnt anything you did or didnt do. They have a right to this decision. Big hug punkin. And if worse comes to worse, you can use this agaisnt hubby to get YOU a baby and forbid him near it.
This could be a good thing, work it girl!
Be careful not to let her near your face. I would just let her on my finger for now. She is very territorial, huh. Just remember, they are all about reaction so dont run from her. I would clap and say a firm no when she came to me like that.
Any other suggestions?
Bless your heart. This happens among ringnecks. They tend to take to one person and one person only. It SUCKS when the person they prefer is not their primary care giver.
If you'll remember back, she use to be sad when he was away. Remember I asked you to hold the phone near her while he was on speaker phone and see if she responded. She did and perked right up. So, I think she has always had the hots for him, he just wasnt there as often.
I have heard of this and I know the pain you must feel. Betrayal even. I am so sorry. Just know it isnt anything you did. It is a very unfair thing.
I dont know of any techniques to make an IRN accept another. I would, because they are a sucker for food, try to woo him that way. My cat abandoned me for my husband. They have a cute relationship but she could care less about me. I know how that felt. I imagine, because of the amount of time we spend on an IRN, it is 10 times worse.
Again, I am sorry he chose another. Please know it isnt anything you did or didnt do. They have a right to this decision. Big hug punkin. And if worse comes to worse, you can use this agaisnt hubby to get YOU a baby and forbid him near it.
This could be a good thing, work it girl!
Be careful not to let her near your face. I would just let her on my finger for now. She is very territorial, huh. Just remember, they are all about reaction so dont run from her. I would clap and say a firm no when she came to me like that.
Any other suggestions?
~ Mikaela Sky
Hi Mikaela. Thanx for replying so quickly. Well, I have already told hubby that the next pet we get had better not be female or he's in big trouble.
It is a little annoying that after all the hard work I've put in, he just waltzes in and gets all the love and cuddles
but maybe it's a blessing in disguise. At least she's bonded with one of us and she's not screaming or plucking and she's trusting so that's good. The other thing I was worried about is when the baby comes. If she is not too attached to me maybe she won't be jealous when baby comes and she sees me holding it.
Hubby is not home at the moment and Bibou is on top of her cage making all kinds of sweet sounds to get my attention. Little rascal. Daddy's not here so she's sucking up to me.
I still adore her though. She's too cute with all her chattering. And guess who taught her all those words? Not Daddy that's for sure. I guess my main concern is keeping her away from me when hubby is around. I don't want to lose an eye.
Thanks again for the words of encouragement.
It is a little annoying that after all the hard work I've put in, he just waltzes in and gets all the love and cuddles
but maybe it's a blessing in disguise. At least she's bonded with one of us and she's not screaming or plucking and she's trusting so that's good. The other thing I was worried about is when the baby comes. If she is not too attached to me maybe she won't be jealous when baby comes and she sees me holding it.
Hubby is not home at the moment and Bibou is on top of her cage making all kinds of sweet sounds to get my attention. Little rascal. Daddy's not here so she's sucking up to me.
I still adore her though. She's too cute with all her chattering. And guess who taught her all those words? Not Daddy that's for sure. I guess my main concern is keeping her away from me when hubby is around. I don't want to lose an eye.
Thanks again for the words of encouragement.
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CarolinaWren
- Posts: 110
- Joined: Fri Dec 30, 2005 11:38 am
- Location: Bluffton, South Carolina
OMG!!! this sounds like my house!!
WOW!! my Gina does this same stuff to my hubby!! he HATES it cuz he LUVS all of our adoptees equally, but Gina seems to DETEST him ... i'm told that she thinks that i'm her mate she gets all over me & coos & giggles & rolls those eyes 
... HOWEVER, our new Willie-Boy seems to be taking to hubby & NOT me ... maybe he & Gina cannot stand each other & she's always VERY protective of me ... SOOOOO, we've reached this sort of understanding around here ... i'm home all day & am the caregiver for both birds, but when DaddyCakes gets home, he MUST come & spend some quality time with Willie ... i want him to take to either of us cuz he's nowhere near tame, but will respond more sweetly to hubby.
good luck & prayers to all of us who are owned by our IRNs!!
luv, Wren, Gina & Willie
she gets all over me & coos & giggles & rolls those eyes ... HOWEVER, our new Willie-Boy seems to be taking to hubby & NOT me ... maybe he & Gina cannot stand each other & she's always VERY protective of me ... SOOOOO, we've reached this sort of understanding around here ... i'm home all day & am the caregiver for both birds, but when DaddyCakes gets home, he MUST come & spend some quality time with Willie ... i want him to take to either of us cuz he's nowhere near tame, but will respond more sweetly to hubby.
good luck & prayers to all of us who are owned by our IRNs!!
luv, Wren, Gina & Willie
Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all
Emily Dickinson
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all
Emily Dickinson
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Neokireina
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/soap box and dictator moustache "All my birds love mummy, All friends' birds love mommy, YOU will love mommy or no treats for joo." /off
Hrm seriously tho, though the birds may have a slight preference, there is no agression towards the other person in my house. I wish I knew how to help you.
Maybe you should be a little agressive too, grab that beak and you tell that bird that behaviour will not be tolerated. Dont be scared of your bird.
Sure when daddy's home he can lavish some attention on your fid but dont let that birdie get nasty or back into the cage and no fun with daddy. You are the boss, not that spoilt fid.
Hrm seriously tho, though the birds may have a slight preference, there is no agression towards the other person in my house. I wish I knew how to help you.
Maybe you should be a little agressive too, grab that beak and you tell that bird that behaviour will not be tolerated. Dont be scared of your bird.
Sure when daddy's home he can lavish some attention on your fid but dont let that birdie get nasty or back into the cage and no fun with daddy. You are the boss, not that spoilt fid.
Well I am new here Selma, but still can feel for you, as I had a very similiar experience, and pretty much told by many there wasn't anything i could do. Not to take it personally (easier said than done). The kicker was even when my then S.O. wasn't around my bird still didn't want anything to do with me. Fortunately that gal and I split (was in the cards anyway) and after sometime this parrot of mine is showing some signs of actually liking me. I've heard of them changing loyalties as well. So the game is still on
Jealous bird
And here I thought I was the only person with a jealous bird. My IRN hates my husband or so it seems. Everytime my husband walks past his/her cage my IRN wants to attack and he/she makes such a squawking sound, but when I walk past his/her cage he/she is just playing in his cage and doesn't worry about me.
Every afternoon when I come from work, my IRN makes exciting sounds, even though he/she didn't see me, just hears my voice, then he/she is excited.
I think he/she hates my husband because my husband never real gave any attention to my IRN. When my IRN was smaller, I fed him/her, spoke to him/her and when I prepared food in the evenings, I would put him/her on the cupboard, and when I spoke to him/her he/she would show interest and he/she would make sounds and noises.
IT IS SO INTERESTING AND WONDERFUL TO HAVE AN IRN......
Every afternoon when I come from work, my IRN makes exciting sounds, even though he/she didn't see me, just hears my voice, then he/she is excited.
I think he/she hates my husband because my husband never real gave any attention to my IRN. When my IRN was smaller, I fed him/her, spoke to him/her and when I prepared food in the evenings, I would put him/her on the cupboard, and when I spoke to him/her he/she would show interest and he/she would make sounds and noises.
IT IS SO INTERESTING AND WONDERFUL TO HAVE AN IRN......
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Mikaela
- Posts: 3752
- Joined: Thu Jul 07, 2005 5:12 am
- Location: Islamorada Key, Florida U.S.A.
- Contact:
Agreed:
Sometimes nice gets you nowhere with ringnecks because they are smart enough to mistake it for weakness.
Sometimes I have to be agressive with Baby. I make no apologies. If I say do something, she is going to do it if it takes all night, if she is just being a brat. However, if she doesnt feel like working with me on something at the moment, I have learned to respect that and walk away.
If you dont show them who is boss they will be but the hard part is that fiiiiine line. AND IT IS A VERY FINE ONE. The line between being positvely agressive and negatively agressive. One bad move on our part can set us back months. Worse case scenerio, the bird loses trust in you.
So by being agressive I mean keep the same pleasant tone but never... ever back down... not even for a second. They forget nothing so be careful not to be overly agressive... to be safe I never speak in a tone or move in a way that may scare a small child.
Keep that in mind and you wont scare the birdie. But stand your ground! Always!
They will give you all you will take, nothing less, nothing more. If you take no crap, they tend not to give any.
Back down and your toast.
There have been times when Baby and I were working together and she just wasnt into it at the moment and I would feel myself starting to lose it. Get aggravated. When, not if, that happens, pleasantly tell them you'll see them later and leave on a good note... even if you didnt get exactly what you want.
Sometimes nice gets you nowhere with ringnecks because they are smart enough to mistake it for weakness.
Sometimes I have to be agressive with Baby. I make no apologies. If I say do something, she is going to do it if it takes all night, if she is just being a brat. However, if she doesnt feel like working with me on something at the moment, I have learned to respect that and walk away.
If you dont show them who is boss they will be but the hard part is that fiiiiine line. AND IT IS A VERY FINE ONE. The line between being positvely agressive and negatively agressive. One bad move on our part can set us back months. Worse case scenerio, the bird loses trust in you.
So by being agressive I mean keep the same pleasant tone but never... ever back down... not even for a second. They forget nothing so be careful not to be overly agressive... to be safe I never speak in a tone or move in a way that may scare a small child.
Keep that in mind and you wont scare the birdie. But stand your ground! Always!
They will give you all you will take, nothing less, nothing more. If you take no crap, they tend not to give any.
Back down and your toast.
There have been times when Baby and I were working together and she just wasnt into it at the moment and I would feel myself starting to lose it. Get aggravated. When, not if, that happens, pleasantly tell them you'll see them later and leave on a good note... even if you didnt get exactly what you want.